Tonight is Monday Night Football! ♫ DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNNNNNN! ♫ It’s a thrilling matchup between the ... wait, why are the 3-7 Ravens playing the 2-8 Browns on Monday Night Football? I know the Ravens were expected to be good, but, like, why did the schedule-makers think this game was going to be good? And with Joe Flacco out, Justin Forsett out, and Johnny Manziel now a third-stringer, I think the only reason anybody besides Browns and Ravens fans should watch this game is if you’re ahead by three points in fantasy football and your opponent still has Gary Barnidge to go.
ESPN is warning you not to watch Browns-Ravens ‘Monday Night Football’
We were thinking about checking out “Monday Night Football,” but then ESPN warned us about how bad it was going to be.
But it’s ESPN’s job to get people to watch this game. Surely, they have some enticing way to sell this game that can convince me that it’s interesting, right?
Matt Schaub has lost his last 6 starts and hasn't taken a snap this season. pic.twitter.com/2NVk77i1to
— ESPN Monday Night (@ESPNMondayNight) November 30, 2015 Okay, uhhhhhhh
They could’ve said “Two-time Pro Bowler Matt Schaub makes his first start of the year!” Or “You once saw him lead the Texans to the playoffs. Now it’s time for Matt Schaub to take over the Ravens!” Instead, they pointed out that Matt Schaub was garbage the last time he played. Did the guy who made the graphic know they were going to say Schaub was a poop football player?
GRAPHIC GUY: Okay, I put some cool effects over Matt Schaub. I found some pictures of him looking really cool in a Ravens uniform. It was hard, since there are so few pictures of him on the Ravens. I put some cool fonts, some buildings. It took about 45 minutes.
WORDS GUY: Okay thanks. (Writes “MATT SCHAUB IS POOP” next to the graphic.)
Justin Tucker has missed a career-high 6 FG, for a career-low % of 78.6, ranking him 30th among NFL kickers. pic.twitter.com/axxXp49lki
— ESPN Monday Night (@ESPNMondayNight) November 30, 2015 Not only is this a graphic about the Ravens' kicker. IT'S A GRAPHIC ABOUT HOW BAD THE RAVENS' KICKER HAS BEEN.
Josh McCown will start at QB. Since going 3-2 with the Bears in 2013, McCown is 2-16 over the last 2 seasons. pic.twitter.com/CSdMNHpqsJ
— ESPN Monday Night (@ESPNMondayNight) November 30, 2015 Oh, gosh
A week ago Johnny Manziel was named the starting QB for the season. Tomorrow he will be the 3rd string QB. #MNF pic.twitter.com/KiNkltRWKs
— ESPN Monday Night (@ESPNMondayNight) November 29, 2015 "Well, we already made the Johnny Manziel graphic ... might as well use it!"
I guess ESPN would rather we avoid tonight’s awful game than have us watch the game and then associate the Monday Night Football brand with awful football.
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SB Nation presents: The best and worst of NFL Week 12, from J.J. Watt to Jeff Fisher
