PFT Commenter Plays 60 and embraces debate at the Arizona Indian Festival

All spelling errors in PFT Commenter’s on-scene reports are intentional (we think). -Ed.

PHOENIX -- So far in Arizona Ive mixed it up on the red carpet, Ive grilled Pete Carroll about 9/11 at media day, and Ive give you a firsthand look inside Roger Goodells press confrence. Today was the day where I would steady my eyesight through a 3 day hangover and get down at padlevel with the good people who were crowding the streets of Phoenix. It was also my birthday no big deal but I just wanted to send a message to Richard Sherman that some people dont skip the most important day of work just because of a birth day.

Phoenix was jam assed packed with folks from all over the country who gathered to join hands in a solidarty to wait in line for literaly 3 hours to get into a oversize Chuckie Cheese for kids who love playing football more then video games. The NFL fan experence is a great place to be and honestley they should open one in every city to do birthday partys and just basically clean up money-wise. If your a parent and you dont take your kid to the NFL play60 experence you should be shot out of a canon into a bigger canon and then fired into a tigers butthole because your probably raising a serial killer.

The NFL play60 zone is a big interactive treat where they simulate what its like to play in the NFL except minus the dibilitating spinal injurys and borderline illegal unionization aspects. There were mostly Seahawks fans since children from Boston are typicaly more drawn to the Aaron Hernendez experience aka Play25-to-life.

Theres obstacle courses and kicking games and throwing games and apps where you can play a video game that tracks your body movements and makes you run so you can act like your playing football without actually having to put on pants. There were former players every where I even got a great chance to get a awesome liveshot of my hero Danny Woodhead:

Despite “gotcha” child labor laws saying your not allowed to have 6-year-olds playing in the NFL, you cant help but wonder if Belichick might have something up his sleeve for the Superbowl, maybe cutting Jonas Gray and sending a this girl out there to leverage her perfect padlevel.

As usual I brougt my own whistle to give these kids a look, and I was blowing them up every time they tripped and cried like they had a boo boo. There was even one little guy who skinned his knee up pretty bad so I gave him the old birds and bees talk about the difference between being hurt and injured. His parents, and later the police officer had obvously never played football so I just kind of threw my hands up and moved on.

Say what you want about the NFL but you have ti admit that they got it right with the Play60 initiative. Health and wellness ais specially important for the future of football,,the children of our nations milleneals are just starting to reach the age of sports, and if we dont act now we could see a big downturn in play in the NFL in about 15 years. Theres going to be QBs thinking that there playing madden and giving press coferences with there hats in god-knows what kind of angle blaming the loss on the fact that the computer was cheating. Your going to have Wide Recevers overestimate how easily they can catch things just because they werent vaccinated. Plus you’ll have these lazy Trillenials joining up in the arm forces trying to figure out how to fight wars behind a computer screen to defeat the enemy instead of endangering there own lives which would be a bad thing, for some reason.

God bless the NFL for this worldclass outreach effort that is making a difference in the lives of kids. The future of our nations kids is an life and death matter that should be treated with the upmost seriousness unless Michelle Obama is somehow involved.

Even I have to admit its refreshing to see the NFL take a step away from its brand-humping for just a few minutes to do something all truistic. Thats why in keeping with the NFLs play 60 health-conscous approach to making sure kids staying in good shape and eating right, what better way then to have fill the official Play60 locker room in the kids zone with literally millions of pieces of candy?

Inside the NFL Play60 health and nutrition lockerroom sponsord by Skittles, they had one jersey from each NFL team in skittles themed lockers. Legend has it that they got the idea by making it a exact replica of Andy Reids recurring dreams.

Of course I wanted to see the Seattle locker to check out what they had in store for the leagues most famous Skittles fan, Russell Wilson apparently.

Folks Im not a expert but that thug (no offense) Russell Wilson strikes me as more of a Emenem fan then a Skittles fan.

By the way I even ran the 40-yard dash in exactley 5 seconds which literally makes me faster then Vontaze Burfict, but keeps me slow enough to not outrun my read- literally the perfect speed for a football player, not to brag.

After I was asked to leave , we hit the streets of Phoenix and met with a guy named “Christian” from a company called Outlaw flags who turns American flags into football themes. At first I was a little bit skeptical because Obama is another guy who claims to be a Christian and disgraces the American flag wherever he goes but after talking to him I realized that this guy was was cool. Hes basicaly what you would get if the SeaHulk and a Juggalo played a game of limp biscuit in Betsy Rosses living room. Just a solid dude and a ultimate fan who drove 22 hours from Seattle to go to Arizona.

Phoenix was also happening to have there Arizona Indian Festival in the afternoon, so I threw on my Kirk Cousins jersey and headed up to Scottsdale to take in the festivities.

Walking around I saw alot of jewelry and crafts and cool ceremonal dances which were so spiritual I got horny. There were some nice folks there selling Navajo flatbread and there was even one group that built a octogonal log home in like a hour. Everyone wanted to watch the dancers though instead of the bluecoller constructon workers. which is just a huge misplacement of attenton but what else to you expect when even even the Federal Reserve is advocating artifically low interest rates folks.

I decided to take my shirt off just in case there happen to be any undercover PC policemen wakling around you never know these days. I figured I would of gotten alot of looks for wearing a Redskins jersey from revisionist older Native Americans who didnt even know what I think there own history is. They literally thought policed me into not wanting to wear my jersey. And Im not racist folks I’ve smoked American Spirit cigarettes.

I wanted to talk some football so I introduced myself to Albert, Philbert, Gilfred, and Gilbert- all full-blooded Navajo Indians who had lived on the reservations and I had a engaging discusson with them on why they should like the Redskins name, when literally I havent heard of anyone finding it offensive since recently.

“Native Americans have only had a voice since the late 1900s. A lot of our folks weren’t even citizens of our country when they fought in World War Two... we didn’t have a voice. We have been saying it, but just now people are starting to listen.”

“(Until the 1980s) Our voice was always through the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and controlled by the federal government. Now were barely getting our small voice out.”

“We’ve been actually saying it and just now people are listening ... I know the history of what it is, it’s a mockery.”

“Theres no way for you to understand it unless you’re from a reservation. They call us Redskins and they don’t see the impact it has on us psychologically.”

I had to remind them that there are literaly teams in Arizona made up of Native Americans who call themselves the “redskins” but they tried to redirect the conversation by informing me that many of those team names were given to them by White people in the 30s when they pushed there familys to reservatons- its allmost like they were too busy being literaly relocated from their homes and put onto pockets of land where theyd have to live forever to keep up with the news about what a team from Boston was naming there football team.

“Even our last names and school names were given to us by BIA officials... (the students) were getting called Redskins and they didn’t know what these names mean.”

Yeah but I had to point out that its actualy a honoring term, which is why us fans use Indian headresses and battle chants and stuff. Redskins fans are honoring you by wearing your clothes as a costume.

“Whatever they put on- the bonnet, the headress, the warpaint, those signify certain events and ceremonies that Native Americans actually use, but they just use it as a display of cheering on your team or cracking jokes at your opponent, that’s not what it actually meant. They don’t know the significance of it. That’s what would be the most offensive to me.”

The Redskins name argument is one where you absoluteley HAVE to hear both sides. How are you going to be able to tell if the names offensive unelss you seek out and hear from people who dont think the names offensive.

I met up with Terry and her family who had made the trip down to Arizona from Rhode Island. She took some time out from the Arizona Indian Festival to share her take:

“I dont think they should change it because I dont think they should be offended by it.”

Makes you think.