The Buffalo Bills, it seems, have finally discovered the reason they haven't made the playoffs in 16 years: all those pesky reporters who insists on, you know, actually reporting on the things the team does. But Buffalo has figured out an answer to that problem and how to keep all the diagrams to its super successful top-secret plays and methods out of enemy hands.
The Bills don’t want reporters to report on the Bills
Fans looking for information on the Bills this offseason are in trouble.
Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports
On the first day of OTAs, those reporters covering the Bills were introduced to the team’s brand new media policy. Via ESPN’s Mike Rodak we learn that reporting on “strategic and tactical information” such as “referencing plays run,” “personnel groupings” and “who is rushing the passer, dropped passes, interceptions QB completion percentage, etc” is now banned. We can only assume “etc” is there to include the names of players on the Bills roster and perhaps the color of the grass, too.
Now that they’ve neutered the media, there’s just one more step the Bills must take in order to recapture the glory they’ve been missing since Marv Levy left town: get rid of all those fans.
Of course fans sitting in the bleachers are permitted to tweet.
— Tyler Dunne (@TyDunne) May 24, 2016
Then again, given how bad the Bills have been over the past decade-plus fans might be something that soon they will longer need to worry about. Perhaps that was the master plan all along.
Bills begin OTAs today. Reporters are not allowed to tell you who dropped a pass or who threw an interception. pic.twitter.com/TCGVgUtUI0
— Mike Rodak (@mikerodak) May 24, 2016
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