Andy Reid on not kicking field goal in loss to Steelers: ‘I do what my gut tells me to do’

Welcome to Gramatica Errors, SB Nation’s weekly kicking and punting column. As always, we will do our best to avoid any and all foot puns. Now let’s kick things off ...

The Chiefs lost their first game of the season this weekend to the Steelers, and after the final whistle some fans questioned head coach Andy Reid’s decision to go for it on fourth-and-2 on the Steelers’ 4-yard line with the Chiefs trailing 12-3. The thinking being: The Chiefs needed two scores anyway, so why not just take the three points?

Anyway, the Chiefs failed at the attempt, and while they would later have a chance to win the game, people still had questions. Luckily for them, Reid had answers.

Via the Kansas City Star:

“I don’t worry about the questions that will be asked afterwards; I do what my gut tells me to do. I thought that was the right thing to do. Again, we hadn’t been down there or really moved the ball too much. If nothing else it backs them up and gives us an opportunity to come back and win the game. Which we did. We had an opportunity there to win the game. So these are the things I’m thinking about. I’m preaching to the team to stay aggressive without being stupid.”

Reid does what his gut tells him to do. Let me humbly offer another idea, Andy: Let Harrison Butker, the kicker you signed whose nickname is Buttkicker, kick a god damn field goal.

I don’t even care about the situational aspect of it, or particularly care what happens with the Chiefs. You have a guy who goes by Buttkicker. He kicks. Why are we overthinking any of this? Put him in the game and let him kick butt and also a short field goal.

In this section we like to cast out to all our Funk Sole Brothers and Hey Sole Sisters and see what’s happening. This week we have a dispatch from our university ranks, where our very own Jason Kirk snuck out of study hall for a moment to note that the Red River Shootout turned into a good old fashioned Red River Footout this weekend. (Listen, they can’t all be winners here at Gramatica Errors.)

Look at these punts!

The first is from Oklahoma’s Austin Seibert, an absolute blast from well behind midfield that lands with a plop at the 1-yard line, bounces once, and stops gracefully in the hands of a teammate.

Who could top that punt?

O-HO!

Look at it! Look at how far he kicked that sumbitch! Ooohwee! This game was pretty good and all and there’s plenty of history with this matchup, sure, whatever. LOOK AT THE PUNTS, MY FRIENDS. LOOK AT THEIR GORGEOUS PARABOLAS OF FLIGHT.

Washington has a new kicker to fill in for the injured Dustin Hopkins, and ahead of his first start this week, video surfaced of him during his time at Texas in which he does a back flip and then, mid flip, (maybe) kicks the ball through the uprights. I toss the “maybe” parenthetical in there because we don’t actually see the ball go through the uprights, and let me tell you, I am not gullible when it comes to field goal videos. I wasn’t toed yesterday.

Anyway, his name is Nick Rose, and if the announcer covering the game this weekend isn’t an idiot, he’ll preempt every field goal with: “And now ... a kick from a Rose.”

And then they’ll bring Seal on and he’ll sing. Oh, how he’ll sing.

No. 1: Greg Zuerlein of the Los Angeles Rams, because his game is being played in London and everyone knows you kick better in England. Because of the soccer thing.

No. 2: Phil Dawson of the Arizona Cardinals, who is kicking for the other team playing in England. For same reason listed above. The soccer thing.

No. 3: Giorgio Tavecchio, because I love him.

Nos. 4-30: Tie. It’s fantasy kickers, guys. Seriously. There are few things on earth that could matter less. Go read a book. Take a walk with a loved one. Climb to the top of a mountain. Sing the songs that you want to sing. If you’re reading through this whole column for the sole purpose of getting fantasy kicker advice from me of all people, this is a problem. Reach out. I’m on Twitter. Let’s talk about it. I’m here to help. Anyway, yeah. Article over.