8 NFL matchups in 2019 that deserve their own bowl games

There’s plenty of intrigue in the recently released slate of NFL regular season games in 2019. As is tradition, divisional foes like the Steelers and Ravens, Packers and Bears, or Rams and Seahawks will all see each other twice. The league’s rotating cast of conference foes — which ensure division winners play other division winners and last-place finishers play other last-place finishers — has also lined up can’t-miss matchups like replays of last year’s AFC and NFC title games.

But there’s more to the 2019 schedule than just big showdowns between teams with Super Bowl aspirations. In fact, the best games this fall might just be the ones with fewer playoff implications but deeper storylines running under the surface.

This season’s schedule is filled with games that pair two franchises historically intertwined with one another, whether through a shared history, trade, or corporate marketing happenstance. 2019 will play host to games that go beyond their “TEAM A vs. TEAM B” label in the TV listings and deserve their own proper bowl titles.

So which games have earned this special consideration in 2019? I’ve got eight in mind, specifically.

When the Browns beat the Jets in Week 3 last year, rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield delivered a win that gave Cleveland its first victory in 635 days and unlocked fridges loaded with 2,000 free beers across Northeastern Ohio.

Now the two teams will lock horns for another showdown — this time in the scenic confines of northern New Jersey.

The Browns have been building momentum ever since, finishing a better-than-expected 7-8-1 in 2018 and then boosting the roster with Odell Beckham Jr., Kevin Zeitler, and Sheldon Richardson this offseason. For the first time in a long, long time, Cleveland is favored to win the AFC North. While things aren’t as optimistic for the Jets, they’ll have an improved Sam Darnold firing passes to Le’Veon Bell and Jamison Crowder, and a defense led by Pro Bowlers C.J. Mosley and Jamal Adams.

And Bud Light? Well, the last Jets-Browns game was an absolute marketing success for them, all for the cost of some free drinks, coolers, and WiFi-enabled padlocks. The brewing monolith certainly sounds like it’s got something up its sleeve to bring more beer-flavored beverages to Browns fans in 2019.

The winner gets to claim this handsome prince, taken from the league too soon (though, apparently, just in time for Kristin Cavallari’s milk ducts):

There are only three blemishes on Tom Brady’s Super Bowl record, and two of them are courtesy of Eli Manning. The longtime Giants quarterback’s biggest accomplishments in the NFL both came at the Patriots’ expense, as clothing banks across developing countries can attribute their 2008 backlog of “19-0” shirts to the youngest Manning brother.

Manning has more postseason wins over the Patriots than AFC rivals like Philip Rivers or Ben Roethlisberger. Something about facing Bill Belichick’s always-game defense brings out the best in him, as his quarterback rating against the Patriots — 96.8 — is more than a dozen points higher than his career average. This October, he’ll get one final chance to dispatch the Pats in what may be the final season of a 16-year career.

Another win could spark another wave of “is the Patriots’ dynasty crumbling?” that followed early-season losing streaks in 2014 and 2018. This would be just fine for New England, since it recovered from September and October losses to teams with losing records those years to win the Super Bowl.

The two quarterbacks who make the most impossible throws in the NFL square off. Expect Hail Marys that scrape the damned moon:

And no-look passes galore:

If there is a just and caring god out there, this will just look like a 60-minute ad for a 2020 revival of NFL Blitz.

This is the NFL’s battle over the overflowing glass of 2% milk a drunk wizard once shamefully turned into a quarterback, Kirk Cousins.

Washington didn’t want to commit to him long term, so instead it invested nearly $44 million to keep Cousins on hand via the franchise tag and completely torched its connection with the homegrown QB. That led him to a three-year, fully guaranteed $84 million contract in Minnesota, where he’s been less successful than Case Keenum — who, coincidentally, will probably be Washington’s starting quarterback in this game.

So technically you could call this the Case Keenum Bowl, too, although that honor could also go to Texans-Broncos. Neither one sounds especially exciting though.

This just seems like the game where Bills fans will drink the most Fireball and put each other through the most flaming tables of 2019.

#BillsMafia

This pairs up any team with a head coach either plucked from Belichick’s coaching tree or, now that Vrabel’s leading the Titans and Kliff Kingsbury’s somehow the Cardinals’ sideline general, New England rosters of yore. The winner gets something approximating a smile from their former boss. The loser gets taken off Belichick’s Christmas card list (it’s just a white sheet of paper informing you he’s donated $50 to the Human Fund in your name).

The Dolphins (Brian Flores) and Lions (Matt Patricia) are also eligible to participate, so Detroit-Arizona would also be a Belichick Bowl, just much sadder and more difficult to watch.

Le’Veon Bell gets to face the team he feuded with for two years before winning his freedom, at home and with a likely chance to mess up the Steelers’ postseason chances?

ahhh hahhaha oh shit!