Ranking the dumbest things said at the Colts’ Jeff Saturday press conference

Jeff Saturday was introduced as the interim head coach of the Indianapolis Colts in wake of Frank Reich being fired and ... hoo boy that press conference was something.

I’m not sure exactly what it was, but it was something.

When you have beat writers for the franchise sending tweets like this, you know it was a doozy.

Instead of going through the entire introductory conference and railing against it, I decided to rank the dumbest things said at the press conference. I’ll explain why they’re dumb below, but you get the gist.

The dumbest thing said here wasn’t even by Jim Irsay, because this takes the cake. The simple fallacy in what Ballard said is a few things. First of all, nobody was stopping him from drafting offensive linemen and wide receivers. There are SEVEN, count ‘em, seven rounds in the draft and 256 picks in the draft and the Colts had the choice to draft an offensive linemen in the first two days. However, before Bernhard Raimann, the last linemen drafted by the Colts in the first two rounds was Quenton Nelson in 2018. They made that choice.

Speaking of the offensive line, there’s also this: according to Spotrac, the Colts are first in spending on the offensive line by almost $4 million. They’ve invested in the offensive line—they’re just not good at it. That’s on Chris Ballard.

Jim Irsay cut a Steiner math promo on live TV, and he was being 100% serious. I just wonder how many quartiles does he think exist? Does he think in terms of quartiles, because that explains a lot.

I’m tired of continuing to have this discussion about analytics because people see it as a zero-sum game. Using analytics means not trusting your gut and is anti-football, when in reality, most of what football coaches do is analytics. When coaches put together a gameplan, they use data based on watching film and compiling data.

Analytics and film go hand in hand, which is something I think franchise owners (and analytics and film people) should understand.

With the way the Colts have built, their rocket has everything but the engine and wings and collapse midway through the flight.

Jeff Saturday is 20-16 as a head coach...at Hebron Christian School. To be fair, it’s a higher winning percentage than Jeff Fisher, so he might have a shot.

Thinking that journalists don’t get held accountable is hilarious, considering (/gestures at Twitter). Using the “I know journalism, I was a journalism major” as an excuse is also hilarious as well.

This press conference went even further beyond just a normal intro presser. This was one of the most unhinged press conferences I’ve ever seen, and hopefully Saturday is ready to coa—

Oh this is going to be hilarious.