Will Levis’ mayonnaise cologne shows we’ve strayed from God’s light

Yes, you read that headline right.

Will Levis, the second-year quarterback for the Tennessee Titans who vaulted into the national consciousness with his affinity for putting mayonnaise in his coffee, has taken his love for the condiment to new levels.

Last year Levis signed an endorsement deal with Hellmann’s Mayonnaise, which provided him with a lifetime’s supply of mayonnaise. However, before the 2024 NFL season, Levis and Hellmann’s announced their next joint venture.

A fragrance.

That’s right, the world’s first “parfum de mayonnaise” has been released. According to the press release, Will Levis No. 8 was “crafted to harness the tantalizing scent of the world’s most alluring condiment.”

What, exactly, might this smell like? According to the press release Will Levis No. 8 offers “bold, savory notes of tart, mayonnaise accord, musk and vanilla with coffee undertones.”

The quarterback had this to say about the deal. “With the launch of my signature scent, I’ve fulfilled a lifelong dream of partnering with Hellmann’s to craft a fragrance like no other, one truly embodying the distinct scent of greatness.” said Levis. “Rich and creamy, Will Levis No. 8 is more than a mayonnaise-inspired fragrance. It’s transformative. I’ve eaten mayo, drank mayo, and now I can smell like mayo.”

Given that every fragrance needs a commercial, Hellmans and Levis partnered for an ad of their own, in the style of perfume commercials the world over:

For just $8 you can have your own bottle of Will Levis No. 8, available at willlevisnumber8.com while supplies last.

That’s right. You are the ingredient of your own success.