Sean Avery ‘happy’ John Tortorella was fired

Back in March, Sean Avery lit up Twitter by asking his former team, the New York Rangers, to fire their head coach.

The clown was John Tortorella, whom Avery has a ... well, non-positive relationship with, and more nonexistent than anything else. If you guessed that the former agitator might speak up in the wake of the Rangers actually firing Torts, you will not be disappointed.

Larry Brooks of the New York Post basically let Avery hold a recorder to his face Kenny Powers-style and published the results on Friday. Let’s go through some of the better quotes that probably has Avery smugly enjoying himself this afternoon.

First, his reaction to Torts’ firing on behalf of his beloved Ranger fans:

“Oh, I had a huge smile on my face, no question about it,” Avery told The Post yesterday. “It’s not that I’m happy for myself. I’m happy for the Rangers and Ranger fans.

“When I was a Ranger, no one was happier to walk into the Garden every day than me. I loved the team. I still do. I want the atmosphere to be the best it can be for the players. I want everyone in New York to be proud of the team. That’s why I felt the way I did [on Wednesday] and that’s why I sent that tweet.”

Oh yes, that legendary tweet. What was the story behind that?

“I hadn’t said anything for a long time. Since I stopped playing, actually,” Avery said. “I hadn’t watched a full game all year.

“But I watched that game from start to finish. All my emotions as a Ranger came back. It was comforting to hear Joe Micheletti’s voice. And then to see what I saw ... it wasn’t right,” Avery said. “I had to say something.

“Then there was that statement from [captain Ryan Callahan] on behalf of the team saying I didn’t speak for them. Well, OK, whatever. But look what happened.”

Can’t believe Ryan Callahan would say that a man who hasn’t watched hockey in a year doesn’t speak for a hockey club he hasn’t played for in two years!

Despite everything he’s said, Sean Avery is not angry or bitter at Tortorella, who essentially forced him into retirement (AKA he didn’t feel like playing in the AHL until his contract ran out) in March of 2011. He’s found a whole new life as a promoter!

“But there’s no bitterness and I’ll tell you why,” Avery said. “When John Tortorella forced me out of one career, that opened the door for me on a whole new career and life in New York that is perfect for me.

“The day my NHL contract ended is the day I joined David Lipman and his agency. It gives me the ability to interact with New Yorkers every single day the way I did when I was a player, but on a different stage,” Avery said. “Now I do story-telling and compete with other story-tellers in the advertising business, I’m a promoter, and really, who’s better than me at promoting?

“I said the day I came back to the Rangers that Tortorella was going to be the best thing for me in my career. Well, he was the worst thing ever that could have happened to my hockey career but the best thing that ever happened to my life.”

Yes, you’re out of the lucrative career of professional hockey player and into the... I have no idea what an advertising firm would pay Sean Avery, so let’s assume slightly less lucrative? Is that fair?

Anyway, what would Sean do if he saw ol’ Torts on the street? I’m glad you asked, because Larry Brooks clearly didn’t, given how Avery begins his sentence.

“And if I saw John Tortorella on the street, I would give him that sly Avery grin that so many people have been on the other end of, and that would be it.”

Oh, Sean Avery, you’re the worst. I’ll miss the New York media’s ability to enable you, since this is probably the last we’ll hear of you for a long, long time.