Morning Skate: Phil Kessel is not the President of the United States yet

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Lace ‘em up. Time for the Morning Skate.

Can’t close my eyes and make it go away.

Neither could you, if you were a Stars fan. What? You thought I was talking about something else?

Patrik Laine, also known as Super Rookie #3987587, led the Jets in a yuge trouncing over Dallas last night. I mean, the kid had his second hat trick of the season. We’re not even through November yet, and Laine has 11 goals. He has to be the most surprising thing about 2016. Nothing else is nearly as shocking.

Many of you may be considering moving to Canada this morning. Take it from the Stars: don’t do it. It’s full of mean teenagers who will shoot lots of pucks at you. Jamie Benn called last night “rock bottom” for the defending Western Conference regular season champions, who are now 4-6-3.

REAL TALK

Look. I won’t judge you for how you voted.

That’s a lie. If you didn’t vote for Phil Kessel I am completely judging you.