What's crazier: Firing a man who just won promotion to the Premier League - somebody who had your club mid-table approaching the half-way mark - or replacing him with a man that's been fired three times in the last five years? That's hard to say, but add in the five and a half year contract Alan Pardew's been handed at Newcastle United, and Magpies owner Mike Ashley may as well have been invented by Matt Groening. The man has Montgomery Burns' power, Homer Simpson's appearance, and Barney Gumble's love of beer.
Realizing What He’s Stepping Into, Alan Pardew Unveiled As New Newcastle United Manager
Mike Ashley has Homer's appearance, Burns' power, and as remembered from early in his ownership, Barney's love for booze. He's a Simpson's character conglomerated and personified. Unfortunately for Newcastle fans, he's also their chairman. (Photo by Alex Livesay/Getty Images)
Combine the beer and the power, your have the long term commitment to Pardew. The appearance is just for comedy, even if the overall effect undermines the team, something the leads your new manager to note demand a longer contract to “give myself as much stability with a club that hasn’t had much stability with managers.” Thanks for you confidence in me, boss. I have no confidence in you.
If you know somebody who supports The Toon, give them a hug. They need it. I don't care if you support Sunderland or Middlesbrough. Ashley's kind of lunacy transcends rivalry, and the only way we can commiserate with Newcastle supporters is to hope that this is the first step in a decline that sees the chairmen sell the club or completely rethink everything his ownership has stood for: Unreasonable expectations, disproportionate backing.
Next On The Chopping Block
If Pardew's managerial history provides any hints, Newcastle's fortunes could go either way. Pardew's first job came in October 1999, a caretaker's position with Reading which, after some time back coaching their reserves, let to the full managerial job. He eventually steered the team from the old second division to the first, nearly earning promotion the next season. That's when he was bought up by West Ham United.
Pardew was a relative success in his three and a half years at Upton Park, guiding the Hammers to the 2006 FA Cup Final (lost on kicks to Liverpool), but a slow start to his third year and a change of ownership found him with relegation-bound Charlton by Christmas. He lasted less than two seasons there before being let go, with Charlton (now in League One) sitting mid-table in the Championship.
Nice eyes. Modest smile. Who wouldn't like Alan Pardew? Newcastle supporters, that's who, when he's a lackluster replacement for Chris Hughton. Whereas Hughton's managerial career was short but unquestionably successful, Pardew's has been longer and mixed.
Reading (1998 as caretaker, 1999-2003) - Won promotion from third tier in his second season as manager, losing in the playoffs the previous year. Was soon snatched-up by West Ham United.
West Ham United (2003-06) - Again lost in promotion playoffs in his first season only to guide his team to the Premier League the next. Reached the FA Cup final in 2005. Eggert Magnusson's November 2006 purchase of the club gave him little margin for error. Pardew was fired on December 11.
Charlton Athletic (2006-08) - Thirteen days later he was appointed at Charlton. Pardew was unable to save from relegation to the second tier, steered them to a disappointing 11th place finish the following season, and was relieved of his post three months into the 2008-09 campaign.
Southampton (2009-10) - In July, Pardew signed on with League One's Southampton. He drove the Saints to the Football League Trophy and nearly overcame their ten point, administration-incurred penalty to qualify for the promotion play-off. Southampton's +38 goal difference was second to only Norwich City. In August, he was sacked, replaced by Nigel Adkins.
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Within seven months Pardew had latched-on with Southampton, the former top division standard having fallen to the third tier as they dealt with administration. Despite a point penalty carried over from the previous season, Pardew steered the Saints to the edge of the playoffs while winning the Football League Trophy. He was controversially dismissed earlier this season after battles with the club chairman. Little did Nicola Cortese know that Pardew would not only land a better job but a crazier boss.
Overall, Pardew has won one promotion and captained one relegation. While his West Ham firing should probably count against him, the job he did with Southampton last year should earn some credit. It’s a mixed bag but not the kind of record that should have replaced Hughton. After all, in Hughton’s only full season as a manager, he won his league, something Pardew has never done.
Given the expediency with which Pardew was appointed, Newcastle must have set their sites on him (at a minimum) by the time Hughton was dismissed. And with that in mind, you can’t help but think Hughton is better off for having been fired. Not only is he still collecting checks, but he’s rid of a management group that was willing to overlook his work in favor of a man with a decent if inferior resumé. Hughton comes out of this looking great, and while nobody wants to be out of a job (or separated from co-workers and subordinates who’ve become a part of your life), now Hughton can move on to better things. That might involve a drop to the second division, but given the current ownership group at St. James’s Park, that kind of move would entail an overall step-up.
The Lay Of The Land
To Pardew’s credit, he knows what he’s getting into. He’s replacing a popular man, accepting a job that’s become a somewhat of a joke. Where coaching jobs at big clubs are scarce, Pardew couldn’t afford to turn Newcastle down, even if he’s still not sure what exactly has happened:
“I’ve not determined what has happened here ... I can understand the frustration at losing Chris ... but I hope the fans channel their frustration into supporting the team.”
And as for the perception that Newcastle is a less-than-desirable job, Pardew didn’t attempt to play it down:
“I’ve had a lots of texts from managers saying ‘you must be mad going in there’” but explains that “I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t take the challenge on.”
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