It’s been a while since we had a Five to Love. As a result, some of today’s list are a little more dated than our normal items. Still, out of the array of choices our time off affords, these five stuck out.
Five To Love - January 20, 2011: Barcelona, Oguchi Onyewu Start Over, Cristiano Ronaldo & Mario Balotelli’s Interview Show, Brazil 2014 Art
From a minor coup in Spain to the reemergence of a missed United States international, we find reasons for inspiration. Between two of the world's more arrogant stars and one of its most oblivious, we get the absurd. And ultimately, rounding out our list, we're reminded that the internet is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
After the jump, Five to Love’s return.
1. Real Betis derails Barcelona
Had Wednesday’s 90 minutes been played in isolation, Real Betis would be have assumed a place along side Hickory High and Rocky Balboa. But the 3-1 win over Barcelona wasn’t in isolation. It was the second leg of a two-leg, quarterfinal tie, a Copa del Rey match Betis trailed 5-0 at half time.
Still, Pep Guardiola started a number of his stars. Lionel Messi went 90. Xavi Hernández was in the starting XI. Gerard Piqué, Javier Mascherano, Seydou Keita and Maxwell joined him, while Sergio Busquets and Eric Abidal came off the bench. Those are enough names to give Barcelona's first loss since September significance.
On Saturday against Racing Santander, the Blaugrana will be forced to start a new streak, having their 28-match unbeaten run broken. Half-team or not, Segunda leading Real Betis can take pride in that, even if Barcelona probably didn't care.
2. Gooch does his best Jonny B, goes 90
He's been out for so long that most of the world forgot: He's a world class talent, his attempts to come back too early during the World Cup providing little reminder. Oguchi Onyewu's 2009 knee injury, Milan's coaching changes along with the emergence of Thiago Silva have conspired to compromise the U.S. international's chances in Italy, but with his six-month loan at defending Eredivisie champion FC Twente, the 28-year-old defender has a chance to put his career on track.
Wednesday’s debut went about as well Onyewu could have hoped, going 90 minutes while his team beat Heracles 5-0, helping Twente cash in on their match-in-hand and move within one point of league-leading PSV. Though Heracles is in the bottom half of the Dutch first division, the result was surprisingly lopsided, with Heracles coming into the match with only a -4 goal difference through 18 matches.
There is, however, one caveat. Onyewu played the match at left back. It’s difficult to even imagine 6’4” titan playing wide. But beggers, choosers. It’s great to have Gooch back and playing, hopefully in time to prove he can still be a factor at the San Siro.
3. The Cristiano and Mario Show
A lot of the chatter online Thursday was devoted to putting Mario Balotelli's latest comments in context. Finally people are starting to note that Balotelli may just have a strange sense of humor - that he may be as flippant as he is arrogant. But no matter the arrogance, no matter how much, it's diluted by the revelation of Balotelli's sense of humor, you have be bordering on Guinness-level arrogance if Cristiano Ronaldo is suggesting you tone it down.
Or, perhaps it's just Ronaldo's love of Wayne Rooney that's sparked the rebuke, because the former Manchester United star was quick to respond to Balotelli's claims that Rooney is not the best striker in Manchester.
“Balotelli is a good player, but he has to talk less and play more,” said the unimpressed Real star in a massive put-down.
“In the Premier League, if you know how to listen and want to learn, you can become a great player,” he said. “I hope he does these things.
“But today he puts too many other things in front of his profession and that isn’t right.”
When I first read the acrimony in those quotes, I wasn’t thinking This is perfect for Five! But then, a thought: What would it be like to have Ronaldo and Super Mario in the same league, playing each other two times a season? What if they were on the same team!
Or the absurd: What if these two had their own television interview show?
Picture it. Ronaldo and Balotelli, crammed behind the same desk. Their shoulders are smashed together as they lean on each other, both trying to monopolize the center of the desk. They take turns asking questions, but the interview’s got no continuity. It’s two egotists acting in parallel, and instead of paying attention to their subject and building a story, they’re too distracted by what the other’s doing. They ask their question and immediately shift their focus to their partner, devising a way to one-up the other’s next question.
When they do, they turn to the camera and mug triumphantly, seeking adoration from the crowd the same way they try to soak in the supporter’s section’s applause. But then, a moment of shock. Their guest never answered. Instead, his partner, so eager to regain the spotlight, has cut her off. He’s already asking the next question.
Faster and faster, they ask their questions, and within 90 seconds, the guest is walking off set. Ronaldo and Balotelli jump from behind the desk, run center stage and yell at their guest in disbelief, pleading with her as if she was showing a yellow card.
Please, Santa.
4. Pennant’s Porsche
Marca tells the delightfully ridiculous story of Jermaine Pennant’s Porsche, sitting at a train station in Zaragoza, Spain for the last five months. Evidently, when Pennant secured his preseason loan back to the Premier League, the English winger jumped in his car, headed for the train station, and never looked back.
As a result, Real Zaragoza was forced to contact Jermaine and ask, What’s up? There’s this Porsche that’s been sitting at the train station since August, and they’re asking us if you’re gonna come get it?
Pennant had forgotten about the car. Eventually, the club went to pick it up and, upon forcing it open, found the keys sitting in the seat.
I can see being so baller that you just leave a Porsche at a train station. Slam the door, turn around, and yell "That's how I do this." I can see being so oblivious that you forget to have it picked up. "I can't even count how many Porsches I left in Spain." But leaving the keys in the car? Spectacular. "I don't need these. I'll just ... leave them here. Like I need to be taking all this to England."
5. Brazil logo
And finally, the evolution of the Brazil 2014 logo:
I’m number four.
Are there stories from the soccer world that are captivating you? Share, laugh, rant, vent. If you're the 140 character sort, Tweet. Even email, but what's recommended: flood the comments and give us a reason to put your contribution in the next Five to Love.
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