AC Milan Vs. Napoli: Is There Some Kind Of Magic Barcelona Passing Pill Everyone Can Take?

For two teams of the quality of AC Milan and Napoli, their match is horribly sloppy. No one can pass worth a lick and a lot of players look like headless chickens. It would be astonishing to learn that there has actually been a ten pass move in the match, and the volume of unforced giveaways is pretty astonishing. There’s been a pretty high volume of offsides, fouls, and shots over the crossbar as well. It’s just...not good. Everyone drank about half a dozen energy drinks before the match and is entirely too jacked up.

All of this begs the question: Is there some sort of magic Barcelona passing pill that everyone can take? Or at least something to counteract all of the sugary energy drinks? Maybe grain alcohol. That’s the answer, everyone on each team needs to drink a lot of grain alcohol so they can calm down. Except Rino Gattuso, he’d probably throw a nasty right hook at Walter Mazzarri.