Spanish La Liga 2011, Week 6 Preview And Fixtures: Atlético-Sevilla Highlights Otherwise Predictable Week

18:00 CET (12:00 PM EST)

The yellow submarine has fallen on some hard times. The band hasn’t even gotten their instruments set up this year, if you catch my drift. No one has found the sea of green, despite sailing towards the sun, so to speak. They’ve sucked, in case you didn’t get my stupid Beatles anti-jokes. But what better to cure a reeling, once-great side? A visit to how-are-we-still-in-Primera Zaragoza! (Unfortunately, a loss or draw here will really cause some panic for Jonathan de Guzman’s side).

Pick: 2-0 Villarreal

18:00 CET (12:00 PM EST)

Man, I love Rayo. There’s no real equivalent to these guys in American sports: a downtrodden team based in the poorest neighborhood of the capital city, with a primarily working-class supporter base that stays loyal despite frequent (and I mean 99% of the time) trips to lower divisions. And hey, they played a pretty damn good game against Real Madrid last time out, and have one of my favorite vets at forward (Raúl Tamudo!).

Pick: 1-1 push.

18:00 CET (12:00 PM EST)

I’m about as enamored with these two teams as I am with slicing open my eye Le Chien Andalou style. Stay. Away.

Pick: 0-0 snooooozefest

20:00 CET (2:00 PM EST)

Pick: 2-0 Valencia

22:00 CET (4:00 PM EST)

I don’t know what it is about Málaga. They continue to perplex me: how could they not score last week? How could they draw 0-0 against anyone, let alone Zaragoza? I really thought I had a handle on this team. But you know what? I don’t. So here’s a completely random prediction, that has nothing to do with their team (because, again, I don’t understand them):

Pick: 4-1 Málaga because I still like Ruud van Nistelrooy. A lot.

12:00 CET (6:00 AM EST)

Whoa! It’s the first early game that I’d actually consider waking up for: the Basque derby! This one should be quite a doozy: Athletic Bilbao has looked like a completely different team of late, and Real Sociedad have been really up and down. But anything can happen in a derby, especially one featuring such volatile teams. So sit back and watch the fireworks.

Pick: 2-2 shootout.

16:00 CET (10:00 AM EST)

I dunno what happened exactly, but the LFP decided to scrap the 2:00 PM game this week. Maybe they were tired of broadcasting wonderful experiences like Sporting Gijón 0-0 Racing Santander. This week, current leader Real Betis hosts wildly unpopular (and famously rough) side Levante, in a game that, like I hinted earlier, will either let us keep wondering whether this whole thing is a fluke, or will let us confidently decree that, yes, indeed Betis leading the Liga was a huge fluke.

Pick: 0-0 draw. Fluuuuke.

18:00 CET (12:00 PM EST)

The marquee matchup of the weekend! A re-Falcao-inated Atleti will look to stop a strong Sevilla side that seems to know exactly what its’ weaknesses are and how to address them on the pitch (a very scare proposition). Unfortunately, the Andalusian side will (probably) be without the services of leading scorer, and overall terrifying beast of a man, Álvaro Negredo, who is down with a hamstring injury. BUT: Atleti have always been miserable at home. So get ready for some dynamite! (Oh, and someone please tell Diego: I’ve had to keep 1995 on hold all day, they keep calling to ask for their hair back. Count it!)

Pick: 2-3 Sevilla. Fireworks!

20:00 CET (2:00 PM EST)

Pick: 0-5 to Barcelona because they seem to like to win by that score.

22:00 CET (4:00 PM EST)

How good was finally-recovering Kaká against Ajax? Well, pretty effing good. Which doesn’t bode well for any other team in the world.

Pick: 0-3 to Real Madrid