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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Zlatan Ibrahimovic fails to turn up against English opposition in mortal form because he is a Swedish Soccer God

Are you a fan of 35-yard bicycle kick goals? That’s weird, because they didn’t really exist until Zlatan Ibrahimovic invented them just now.

Michael Regan

Zlatan Ibrahimovic: No longer a god to only the fine people of Sweden. The Paris Saint-Germain forward has finally made his mark on the footballing world after a dazzling career that’s seen him win dozens of major trophies and praised as one of the best strikers to ever grace the planet scoring four goals against England.

No watcher of European football could have taken the English media’s stance seriously after watching Ibrahimovic dominate Serie A for the better part of a decade, but the general consensus on a little, overachieving island that values running hard over actual skill and intelligence was that Zlatan wasn’t very good. Especially not against ‘English opposition’.

Given the chance to play against English opposition, Ibrahimovic did quite well, thank you. After 89 minutes, he was sitting on a hattrick (the chants of 'You're just a sh*t Andy Carroll had sadly died down at this point), and he was leading his side to a 3-2 home win over the Three Lions.

And then came the exclamation point.

Ibrahim_medium

That was goal number four on the day for the big striker. It was, as they say in the business, prettttty good.

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