Skip to main content
Come Fan with UsWednesday, August 5, 2026

How soccer holiday parties might go horribly wrong

Inspired by Henning Berg, we speculate about what events might derail some football sides’ parties during this holiday season.

Martin Rose

Blackburn Rovers had a holiday party this week, and their party ended horribly. Manager Henning Berg was asked to perform a silly dance and was so offended that he stormed out of the party.

That got us thinking: How could other football teams’ holiday parties go horribly wrong? This is actually very predictable.

- Cristiano Ronaldo throws a fit because Kaka always gets to play one of the angels in Real Madrid’s Christmas plays, and he doesn’t.

- Peter Vermes thinks that Sporting KC’s party is a Thanksgiving party. When he is told it is a Christmas party, he demands that a Thanksgiving party be held anyway.

- Gerard Pique offers Xavi eggnog, and Xavi declines by saying “No, I’ll pass”.

- Michael Dawson accidentally brushes Gareth Bale as he walks past him, and Bale goes flying into the punch bowl.

- Steve Kean refuses to leave after the building after the party is over, laughing in the dark by himself. No one knows what party he went to anyway.

- Aaron Ramsey tries to put a dimly lit star on the Christmas tree and the whole thing falls apart.

- Milan’s players are informed that the Christmas party has been sold to balance the team’s accounts.

- Upon signing for Cruz Azul, Teo Gutierrez decides to take everyone paintballing after everyone has way too many drinks at their Christmas party.

- Raheem Sterling scrolls through his baby mommas on his phone to make sure “Mary” is not on the list.

- A child confuses Sam Allardyce for Santa at West Ham’s Christmas party. Big Sam has his entire midfield kick him.

- Zenit supporters show up at anyone’s party.

- Manchester City inexplicably puts Mario Balotelli in charge of planning their holiday party, and he moves it to the local women’s prison.

More in Soccer

Soccer
FIFA president aims to sell the World Cup to Trump family associatesFIFA president aims to sell the World Cup to Trump family associates
Soccer

This would completely change world soccer.

By James Dator
Soccer
The FIFA World Cup halftime show was so unhinged you need to see it to believe itThe FIFA World Cup halftime show was so unhinged you need to see it to believe it
Soccer
World Cup 2026: Golden Boot scenarios for Kylian Mbappé and Lionel MessiWorld Cup 2026: Golden Boot scenarios for Kylian Mbappé and Lionel Messi
Soccer

The race for the Golden Boot comes down to the World Cup Final

By Mark Schofield
Soccer
2026 World Cup Golden Boot: Most goals, standings2026 World Cup Golden Boot: Most goals, standings
Soccer

Tracking the top scorers in North America this summer looking to make history.

By Mark Schofield
Soccer
World Cup Final instant prediction for Spain vs. ArgentinaWorld Cup Final instant prediction for Spain vs. Argentina
Soccer

Preview and prediction for Argentina vs. Spain in the 2026 World Cup final.

By James Dator and Mark Schofield