UEFA Champions League: PSG down Porto, while City lose again

The first 30 minutes were devoid of chances for both sides. Hulk hit a long distance shot that didn’t really threaten the goal and Cristian Zapata got on the end of the corner, but he put it over and the match dragged on.

Danny finally broke the deadlock in the 35th minute, but even then it wasn’t particularly exhilarating. A misplayed pass left the ball in the box and Milan failed to clear it, giving Danny the chance to curl the ball to the back post for what would prove to be the winner.

The game’s lone goal came in the 57th minute by way of a fantastic setup by substitute Jakub Blaszczykowski. Jurgen Klopp rested his star winger to start the match, but ‘Kuba’ ignited his side’s attack when he made an appearance off the bench. He set up Schreiber’s goal beautifully, and the finish just required a simple poke.

City had nothing for Dortmund in the closing minutes, and never looked much like finding an equalizer. The home side held on for a very comfortable win to close their group stage campaign on a high note. They had the group wrapped up before Tuesday night, but Klopp will be hoping his side can carry some momentum into their domestic campaign after this win.

Paris Saint-Germain are your Group A winners. The Ligue 1 side emerged victorious in their Champions League victory over Porto at the Parc des Princes thanks mostly to a hilarious error from visiting goalkeeper Helton, overcoming a one-point deficit going into the match in entertaining fashion.

Porto had dominated the reverse fixture as PSG looked for a draw at the Dragao, but the hosts came out to win here, pressing their guests deep into their own halves and forcing them to play mostly on the counterattack. There was plenty of pressure from Helton’s goal, especially from set pieces, and it came as zero surprise when they took the lead.

Dinamo Zagreb is hosting Dynamo Kiev in a match that means nothing. Like seriously, there is nothing on the line at all and they might as well just cancel the thing.

Enter Mother Nature: Aware that nothing is on the line, she dumped snow on Croatia and caused the match to be delayed. Huzzah!

Meanwhile, Montpellier are starting their third-string keeper. That’s fun!

Schalke starting lineup (4-2-3-1): Timo Hildebrand; Astudo Uchida, Christoph Metzelder, Sead Kolasinac, Benidikt Höwedes; Roman Neustädter, Julian Draxler; Tranquilo Barnetta, Lewis Holtby, Teemu Pukki; Ciprian Marica

Zenit can’t advance but they can secure a Europa League spot, thus Luciano Spalletti has put out a fairly strong lineup. Hulk plays up top in place of Aleksandr Kerzhakov but the rest of the linup is fairly similiar to what we’ve seen from Zenit in previous group stage matches.

In what might be the only legitimately interesting match of the day, FC Porto travel to Paris Saint-Germain hoping for a win or a draw at the Parc des Princes. Get that, and they top the group. Fail to do so, and PSG emerge as winners. Both are already qualified for the knockout rounds thanks to the miserable performances of Dinamo Zagreb and Dynamo Kiev, but we should see PSG going all out to get a win, and that should make this fun.

Substitutes from: Nicolas Douchez, Mamadou Sakho, Sylvain Armand, Christophe Jallet, Mohamed Sissoko, Nene, Marco Verratti.

That is a less than inspiring Arsenal team. But, hey, maybe 20-year-old debutant Jernane Meade is a superstar in the making! Because guys who don’t make their pro debuts until they’re 20 are always going to be amazing!

In five years, when Jernade Meade is the English Roberto Carlos, someone is going to pull this post up and mock me.

Dortmund has won the group and secured a place in the Round of 16 so it comes as no surprise that Jürgen Klopp has chosen to rest several starters. Regular starters Robert Lewandowski, Jakub Blaszczykowski, Mario Götze, Sven Bender, Neven Subotic and Lukasz Piszczek are all rested, which makes perfect sense.

Borussia Dortmund starting lineup (4-2-3-1): Roman Weidenfeller; Oliver Kirch, Felipe Santana, Mats Hummels, Marcel Schmelzer; İlkay Gündoğan, Mortiz Leitner; Ivan Perišić, Marco Reus, Kevin Großkreutz; Julian Schieber

Schalke will win their group and avoid the possibility of draws against Barcelona and Manchester United if they can defeat Montpellier in France on Tuesday. They’re one point ahead of Arsenal and have a tiebreaker, so they will also win Group B if they lose and Arsenal can only manage a draw.

While Schalke have been good in Champions League, their domestic form has taken a nosedive as of late. They’ve failed to win their last four consecutive matches in the Bundesliga and could really use a win to turn their form around. Montpelier’s recent form has been respectable, but they’re still just 13th in Ligue 1.

Malaga have guaranteed themselves top spot in the group with a game left over, but Anderlecht are level on points with Zenit St. Petersburg and will need to better their result or overturn their goal difference deficit to progress.

Anderlecht will fancy their chances, with Zenit facing a tricky away game at AC Milan and Malaga in a bad run of form, having lost two consecutive games for the first time in the season and only having two wins in their last ten games, although Manuel Pellegrini insists his side will be trying to win the game.

When these two teams met at the Emirates Stadium in October, Olympiakos tested Arsenal but eventually fell 3-1, following a stoppage time insurance goal by Aaron Ramsey. The leaders of the Greek Super League are already qualified for the Europa League and can’t move up or down in the group, so they’re unlikely to be the most motivated version of themselves, but they aren’t playing a weak team.

Olympiakos injuries and suspensions

For Ajax, a win guarantees them a spot in the Europa League. Considering that when this group was drawn together they were universally picked to finish last, that’s a big positive. Ajax have been key in Manchester City’s UCL failures and if they can defeat Madrid, they’ll make sure City finishes last in the group.

If you are a casual neutral in this one, I suggest rooting for Ajax as they try to secure a Europa League spot. It’s the warm and fuzzy story.