Soccer

Premier League 2012, Week 36 Preview And Fixtures: Manchester City! Manchester United! You Guyyyyys!

What could be the most important Manchester Derby in history headlines a massive weekend in the race for the title, the race for Europe and the relegation battle.

by Aaron Campeau

Apr 27, 2012, 8:00 PM UTC

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Everton vs. Fulham

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

The extra £50,000 finishing order bonus on the line for this one should really help in that race to sign a 16-year-old that doesn’t really amount to much. (What I’m saying is, this game is completely inconsequential.)

Pick: Draw, 2-2

Stoke vs. Arsenal

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Arsenal has a pretty solid grip on 3^rd place at the moment, and all that worrying and consternation about the club’s ability to make their Champions League return seems pretty ridiculous at the moment. Stoke is safe and playing at home against a club happy not to lose.

You can save the space on your DVR, is what I’m saying.

Pick: Arsenal, 1-0

Sunderland vs. Bolton Wanderers

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Bolton will enter this one riding high off of a dramatic come-from-behind win at Villa Park, and they'll surely feel as though the momentum is in their corner. It's crucial that the Trotters don't get ahead of themselves though; keep in mind, it was a win at Villa Park. That's not all that impressive. In other news, the last time Sunderland scored a goal Carlos Tevez was bound for River Plate.

Pick: Draw, 1-1

Swansea City vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Dearest Petunia,

It’s been three weeks since our last correspondence. Things are alarmingly calm here in the trenches; the Welsh fellows seem perplexed at the ease with which they’ve been able to hold the front, while the apathetic gents in yellow appear to be more than willing to allow their belligerents to advance (ever so slowly) into their own territory. There was some fear that the mustard gas had been unleashed, but it was abated when it was revealed that Henry Winter was curious about those pizzas with the hot dogs baked into the crust.

I’m bored, Petunia. So bored. And so scared.

Pick: Swansea, 1-0

West Bromwich Albion vs. Aston Villa

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Does everyone remember Chelsea's performance against Barcelona? Ten men in the box, Didier Drigba playing functionally as a wingback, clearance after clearance after clearance? It was surprisingly exhilarating stuff, and the tactical discussion has shifted (in what I think is a very positive way) away from the belief that possession-based tika-taka football as the unquestioned Right Way To Play in favor of a more pragmatic outlook. Good on Chelsea, and good on Roberto Di Matteo.

But imagine, just for a second, that you watched that performance, week in and week out, against the likes of Wolves and Blackburn Rovers. And imagine that, instead of Chelsea, you were watching a team with (charitably) 1/3 as much talent as Chelsea. Well, congratulations; you now know what it's like to be an Aston Villa fan. Villa supporters don't deserve to see their side relegated, but Alex McLeish and the Villa board sure as hell do.

Pick: Draw, 1-1

Wigan Athletic vs. Newcastle United

Saturday 4/28; 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Wigan. April. Don’t be stupid.

Pick: Draw, 1-1

Norwich City vs. Liverpool

Saturday 4/28; 17:30 GMT/12:30 PM ET

I’ll take a brief vacation from making fun of Liverpool to point out that Norwich City is basically a slightly less good version of Liverpool. That costs about £100 million less. And isn’t intolerable.

Oh dear, I appear to have made fun of Liverpool again.

Pick: Draw, 2-2