Borussia Dortmund vs. Bayern Munich: Player ratings to the theme of Radiohead albums
Our player ratings for the Champions League final follow the theme of Radiohead albums, which probably fit the listening choices of a lot of Dortmund fans right now.
Stellar stuff from start to finish, and we don’t care who doesn’t agree.
Roman Weidenfeller — Some brilliantly alert goalkeeping in the first half to ensure Dortmund didn’t fall to a sucker-punch early on. A classic, composed performance to keep his concentration after long spells with nothing to do.
Manuel Neuer — Between them, the two keepers prevented a ludicrous scoreline. While BVB's finishing left a lot to be desired in the first half, Neuer was excellent, also distributing the ball quickly and accurately to get Bayern rolling in the second half.
Bastian Schweinsteiger — A superbly disciplined job to drop deep and snuff out danger in the first half, before a classic marauding performance in the second. A good job he wasn't out with that warm-up injury.
Ilkay Gundogan — May have added a few pence to his transfer fee if he moves this summer. Simply didn’t put a foot wrong in the first half, dominating Bayern, and maintained his level of performance even as his side started to buckle in the second.
The Bends
Good, but just stopping short of that greatness that you need to enter the top tier.
Arjen Robben — "Isn't he more of a The Eraser-style solo album" jokes to one side here. Yes, he won the game, and yes, his drifting between and along the lines gave Bayern the passing opportunity they lacked from Toni Kroos' absence, but you simply can't be considered to have a world-class performance when you spurn two glorious chances with the scores deadlocked.
David Alaba — Wasn't asked to do too much, and Dortmund's wing play made it wiser for him to play more conservatively, but did his job well when called upon.
Javi Martinez — Came alive in the second half to do his usual effective job. Was culpable for losing control of the game in the first half, but made up for it when playing well when forced deeper.
Mario Mandzukic — Led the line excellently and always looked a likely scorer. In big, tight games, strikers often find themselves forced onto the periphery, but Mandzukic was dangerous throughout.
Neven Subotic — When called upon, came in with some huge moments, most memorably the incredible off-the-line clearance in the second half.
Philipp Lahm — He was Philipp Lahm, and that's all you can ask. Dependable, solid, reliable, effective — the same as he is every game.
OK Computer
Distinctly average, letting down their illustrious, world’s-greatest reputation.
Robert Lewandowski — Led the line well, but not brilliantly. Several times, his crossing and passing was late or off-target when he could have made a real difference. Sadly seemed to exhaust all his real quality in the semi-final.
Marco Reus — Gave his all, and credit for trying to impose some of the creativity missed by Gotze’s absence, but it didn’t quite come off Saturday night.
Marcel Schmelzer — He was there, he didn’t make any disastrous errors. That’s about all you can say.
Lukasz Piszczek — Looked a threat while going forward in the first half, but noticably faded in the second.
Kid A
Could’ve been good, but soured by a couple of highly questionable moments.
Dante — Two shocking errors, one of which almost cost the game, ruined what could’ve been a very sound, intelligent and confident night for the defender, who otherwise did his job.
Sven Bender — When Dortmund were on top, fluffed his big chance, and when Bayern were on top, failed to stem the red tide. Should have done better.
Kevin Grosskreutz — Made no real mistakes, but was largely anonymous. His industry can bring much to a team that is otherwise packed with quality and talent, but tonight he had little to offer.
Franck Ribery — A disappointment. Much has been made of whether Robben will find a place in the Guardiola regime, but the position in Bayern's attack occupied by Ribery looks the most easily improvable right now.
Thomas Muller — Pretty anonymous, and failed to provide much to alleviate the pressure in the first half. Toni Kroos was made a bigger miss by his ineffectuality.
King of Limbs
Just... what. You turn up on the biggest stage of all, with all the world watching, and THIS is what you produce?! Get out of here.
Jerome Boateng — A disaster waiting to happen all game and a huge liability in Bayern's defence. Was skinned repeatedly by whoever made the correct decision to take him on, and was very lucky to be picking up a winner's medal at the end as a result.
Jakub Blaszczykowski — If Dortmund choked tonight, then Kuba was the biggest choker of all. Wasted the best first-half chance with a tame, placed shot when a blasted effort was required, and twice allowed promising counter-attacks to break down through a lack of imagination. Not good enough.
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