It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well... they can tell when it’s raining.
MLS 2013, Week 14 preview and fixtures: It’s a mean MLS world
Sometimes MLS can be quite mean.
USA TODAY Sports
Saturday, 6 p.m. ET - MLS Live
Do you wish you had help, Jack McInerney? It could be worse. You could play for Toronto.
Pick: Philadelphia, 2-0.
New York Red Bulls vs. Vancouver Whitecaps
Saturday, 7 p.m. ET - MLS Live
The Whitecaps doomed themselves by blowing things up last summer. At least the Red Bulls make it interesting and find new, creative ways to implode every year.
Pick: New York, 3-1.
Saturday, 7:30 p.m. - MLS Live
The Crew just exist, but in a bad way. The Dynamo also kind of just exist, but in a good way because come November, they’ll continue to be there when few else are.
Pick: Draw, 1-1.
Saturday, 8:30 p.m. ET - MLS Live
If Sporting Park gets to be called Blue Hell then the Impact should be able to call themselves some sort of menacing blue something or other because their team is a hell of a lot more intimidating than the lovable drunks in the Cauldron.
Pick: Draw, 2-2.
Saturday, 9 p.m. ET - MLS Live
The “Is Dallas Legit?” roadshow continues in Colorado. Hint: They are.
Pick: Dallas, 2-1.
Saturday, 9:30 p.m. ET - MLS Live
Are the Quakes for Real? (You see what I did there?!)
Pick: Draw, 1-1.
Saturday, 10:30 p.m. ET - MLS Live
Pick: Seattle, begrudingly.
Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET - NBC Sports Network
Bob Kraft will sit in his suite and stare at the picture of David Beckham playing at a Gillette Stadium with more than a dozen fans in the stands. He may shed a tear.
Pick: LA, 2-1.
Saturday, 5 p.m. ET - UniMas
Can Chicago light United on fire?
Pick: Chicago, 2-0.
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