The footballing word sat with bated breath for UEFA to announce the results of the Europa League draw on Friday, which is a sad indictment of the footballing world because... seriously, we care about the Europa League preliminary rounds now? Fortunately, AC Milan centre forward Mario Balotelli was around to save the day by live-tweeting his search for a piglet's penis:
Mario Balotelli gets pet piglet named ‘Super’, remains fuzzy as to gender
Finally my little pig arrived! She is only 2 month old! Is a she but i called her SUPER! ;-) pic.twitter.com/6rMaRE9wox
— Mario Balotelli (@FinallyMario) August 9, 2013
Actually can t find the willy so i think is a she ahahaha but maybe a he! Ahahah
— Mario Balotelli (@FinallyMario) August 9, 2013
Yes, Mario Balotelli owns a piglet called ‘Super’ because of course he does. It’d probably be stranger if he didn’t own a piglet named Super. The public search for said piglet’s genitals is what elevates this into art, though. Next time I think he should combine his efforts with UEFA and show his epic quest on the big screen as the draw’s being made. It would be magnificent.
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