Welcome to a Premier League week with two very weird marquee games. On Sunday, two huge names play each other, but one of the teams isn’t actually good. In Saturday’s big early game, the home side is one that most people haven’t figured out is good yet.
Premier League schedule, scores and results from Week 9
In which Mario Balotelli gets Liverpool on television and Chelsea gets a chance to embarrass Manchester United.
Shaun Botterill
Manchester City have been slotted into the early match yet again, and they take on West Ham United to start the week. The Hammers are playing well at the moment and could actually present some sort of challenge to the Citizens. But even though that game has high potential for fun, everyone will be waiting for Chelsea and Manchester United, as if those teams are evenly matched.
Here’s a look at the matches you can catch on TV this week. Unlike last week, there’s actually a Saturday late game! The midday game on Saturday involves some TV shenanigans, while the real highlight of the round is Sunday’s late match.
West Ham United vs. Manchester City
Saturday, 7:45 a.m. ET. TV: NBCSN (U.S.), TSN (Canada), BT Sport 1 (U.K.)
Well this should be a walkover for Manchester Ci ... WEST HAM ARE IN FOURTH PLACE. Yeah, the West Ham fans and ownership threatened Sam Allardyce, saying he needed to get his team playing more entertaining football or get fired, and they're up to fourth! Tied for the fifth-most goals in the division! Y'all, what the hell is this?
As it turns out, Diafra Sakho is the same player at every level. He dominated the French third division two seasons ago, then Ligue 2 last season, and now he has five goals in the Premier League. Enner Valencia and Mauro Zarate are awesome too. Carlton Cole looks like a serviceable Premier League forward. Carlton Cole looks like a serviceable Premier League forward.
City should still win this game and West Ham are going to slide down to the middle of the table eventually, but hey, this is a marquee game! Enjoy it.
Saturday, 10 a.m. ET. TV: NBCSN (U.S.), Sportsnet regional (Canada)
Originally, the Arsenal-Sunderland game was supposed to be on American television in this timeslot, but thanks to Mario Balotelli's shirt-swapping incident against Real Madrid, NBC has made an adjustment. And even if it is because of the most insane faux-controversy ever, it makes sense: More people want to watch this game than the Arsenal game, mostly because of Balotelli.
As for the actual game, it has pretty high upset potential. Hull's defense is very much a work in progress, but they shut out Crystal Palace in a win two weeks ago, then drew Arsenal last week. Their midfielders are a bunch of insane athletes flaking Giant Plodding English Pirlo. Get ready for some piping hot narratives.
Saturday, 12:30 p.m. ET. TV: NBC (U.S.), Sportsnet regional (Canada), Sky Sports 1 (U.K.)
This game is also interesting for reasons relating to American TV coverage. This is the first time that very open and proud Leicester City supporter Arlo White will call a Foxes match on American television. Hopefully the Swansea fans in the audience aren’t too offended.
After a nice early run that had them well outside of the drop zone, Leicester are down to 15th after failing to win in their last three games. Swansea, meanwhile, have gone from top of the table to eighth after failing to win five in a row. Hopefully at least one of these teams stops playing poorly on Saturday.
Tottenham Hotspur vs. Newcastle United
Sunday, 9:30 a.m. ET. TV: NBCSN (U.S.), TSN2 (Canada)
Because Tottenham Hotspur are coming off a dominant Europa League performance and are expected to beat Newcastle comfortably at home, they'll turn in their worst performance and find a way to lose. Alan Pardew will keep his job. Everyone will be profoundly unhappy.
Manchester United vs. Chelsea
Sunday, 12 p.m. ET. TV: NBC (U.S.), Sportsnet regional (Canada), Sky Sports 1 (U.K.)
Remember when this used to be the marquee fixture in the Premier League? That was cool! We miss you, Sir Alex.
Following a pair of narrow 2-1 wins that had fans wondering if Louis van Gaal was finally starting to get things turned around for Manchester United, they dropped points away to West Bromwich Albion on Monday. Chelsea, meanwhile, are a terrifying, unstoppable juggernaut who don't look like they can be challenged. Their only draw is away to Manchester City, clearly the second-best team in the league, and it was a pretty lucky point for City.
Meanwhile, all of United's strikers are in bad form, while Angel Di Maria and Ander Herrera are probably going to play despite being just barely fit for this game. Between all this and the fact that the game is at Old Trafford, it might get a bit embarrassing for the Red Devils.
Monday, 3 p.m. ET. TV: NBCSN (U.S.), TSN2 (Canada), Sky Sports 1 (U.K.)
Aston Villa get a break from their absurd, unfair nightmare run of fixtures. They've lost four games in a row against Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City and Everton, getting shut out in all four matches. They had to play three of those without Ron Vlaar and three without a fully fit Christian Benteke, though the fact that they lost 3-0 last week despite having both players isn't encouraging.
Meanwhile, QPR suffered one of the most ridiculous and potentially demoralizing losses in recent Premier League history against Liverpool last week, while their manager has been making headlines for calling one of his players fat. So, write down a bunch of scores, throw them in a hat and pick one out, if you’re looking for gambling tips.
Week 8 schedule and results (all times ET, scores will be updated as they come in)
West Ham United 2-1 Manchester City - Full match report here
Liverpool 0-0 Hull City - Full match report here
Southampton 1-0 Stoke City
Sunderland 0-2 Arsenal - Full match report here
West Bromwich Albion 2-2 Crystal Palace
Swansea City 2-0 Leicester City - Full match report here
Burnley 1-3 Everton - Full match report here
Tottenham Hotspur 1-2 Newcastle United - Full match report here
Manchester United 1-1 Chelsea - Full match report here
Queens Park Rangers 2-0 Aston Villa - Full match report here
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