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Come Fan with UsSunday, June 21, 2026

Chelsea players are not good at basketball

Davis Luiz Jordan for Heat mascot.

Most NBA games feature some fans getting one chance at a halfcourt shot for a lot of money and more often than not, they look horribly unathletic in missing the shot by about five feet. But don’t feel bad, out of shape and uncoordinated guy taking a halfcourt shot in loafers with 18,000 people watching, professional athletes look almost as bad!

Chelsea gave Eden Hazard, Demba Ba, David Luiz, Andre Schurrle and Petr Cech the chance to make a halfcourt shot, which doubled as the affirmation of every average person's athleticism.

The good news for Hazard is that he is still good enough to play for the Knicks and Petr Cech can’t be any worse than Robert Sacre*. David Luiz wouldn’t quite make the Heat, but he does have a future as their mascot.

* It’s a good thing Sacre is one of three Lakers under contract for next season. Happy basketball watching, Petr!

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