France vs. Switzerland: Les Bleus blow Swiss away

France threw cold water on Switzerland’s hopes of doing much damage in the knockout rounds with the most comprehensive demolition of recent World Cup history. It’s rare that a three-goal group stage win understates the superiority of one side over another, but Les Bleus could easily have won by a significantly higher margin, and had goal differential been of any importance whatsoever to Didier Deschamps right now we could have seen nine or ten goals scored by the French.

Switzerland (4-2-3-1): Diego Benaglio; Ricardo Rodríguez, Steve von Bergen, Johan Djourou, Stephan Lichtsteiner; Gökhan Inler, Valon Behrami; Admir Mehmedi, Granit Xhaka, Xherdan Shaqiri; Haris Seferović.

Some might call him a jerk. Other might call him a sports fan. In truth, he’s probably a little bit of both.

When your team scores five goals though, you’re allowed to have a laugh.

Things quickly went from bad to worse for La Nati when Valon Behrami gave the ball away sloppily in midfield less than a minute later. Karim Benzema quickly fed the onrushing Blaise Matuidi through on goal, and his low drive crept inside the near post, leaving Benaglio looking rather red in the face.

Switzerland looked at risk of crumbling completely, though fortunately began to create a few chances of their own. Granit Xhaka momentarily thought he’d clawed one back on a set-piece only to see the offside flag raised, before Xherdan Shaqiri scuffed their best chance wide of Hugo Lloris’ post after the French keeper had parried Admir Mehmedi’s powerful effort weakly away.

Blerim Džemaili has scored the tournament’s first direct-from-a-free-kick goal, and what a way to do it! Switzerland found France’s weakness: the construction of a wall. Džemaili’s daisy cutter sliced its way across the pitch, slipping through Karim Benzema as the striker turned sideways.

Granted, Switzerland are still losing heavily to France, but at least they’ve got this play to remember the game by. It looks like Džemaili’s constant practice with shots from distance just might be paying off.

Oh, and Moussa Sissokho decided to go ahead and put in a fifth shortly after, just to keep piling on the pain.

Mathieu Valbuena is not a large man. The lack of height was accentuated when the 5’6 man received a piggy back from teammate Olivier Giroud to celebrate his World Cup goal.

It was a beautiful goal and an even better celebration.

If you want to see an example of a fine, fine counter-attack, look no further than France’s third goal against Switzerland. Straight from a Switzerland corner, France moved the ball swiftly up the left side of the pitch, with Raphael Varane’s long ball allowing Olivier Giroud to get in behind the Switzerland defense.

Giroud’s pass across the face of goal was a thing of beauty, allowing Mathieu Valbuena to connect perfectly. This time the forward made no mistake, sending the shot into the roof of the net rather than slamming it into the woodwork. 3-0 to France, and it’s not yet halftime.

But Swiss hearts were still pounding in their chests as Mathieu Valbuena seized the chance to put away the rebound. Instead, he was only able to slam his shot into the crossbar.

With France up 2-0, Switzerland still have a bit of a mountain to climb. But it could’ve been much worse. Instead, it’s just funny.

It’s easy for emotion to take over during the World Cup, especially if you’re a France fan and your team just scored two quick-fire goals.

Passionately kissing the rooster on your jersey? That’s well, a little much -- but it’s also sweet in a weird kind of way.

Well, that was fast. After Steve Von Bergen went off injured for Switzerland, things went downhill rather quickly for the side. Two goals in quick succession -- the first from Olivier Giroud, the second from Blaise Matuidi -- put France up 2-0 before 20 minutes were out.

Giroud had no trouble climbing over his marker to meet a corner delivered by Mathieu Valbuena, although Switzerland keeper Diego Benaglio had a hand in the goal as well. More specifically, his hand helped it along into the back of the net.

This is what happens when France scores two goals in the blink of an eye and completely takes over the game.

That’s the face of a broken Swiss mountain man. France will do that to you on the soccer field, but it doesn’t make it any less funny.

Trust me, if you weren’t watching, it’s not something you’d like to see. Suffice to say that Von Bergen was unable to see very well, prompting an early switch. Aston Villa’s most recent signing, Philippe Senderos, came on to take his place. Switzerland will be hoping the 29-year-old can do his part to keep out the potent France attack