MLS All-Star Game: Landon Donovan scores winner as Pep Guardiola gets feisty

Pep was pissed because the game -- an exhibition -- featured a lot of physical play and an injury to Bayern star Bastian Schweinsteiger resulting from a tackle by Will Johnson. Osvaldo Alonso also got in on the action, deservedly picking up a yellow card for a similar nasty foul a bit earlier in the second half.

Johnson and Alonso are known psychos to MLS fans but apparently not to Guardiola, who sent Schweinsteiger out there to get mauled by a couple of rottweilers who have no idea what “friendly match” means. Now that he knows the deal, Pep is talking smack and demanding a rematch.

Lewandowski is Bayern’s big addition this season and he spent most of the first half showing why. He terrorized the All-Stars and had it not been for some fine saves by Rimando, Bayern could have had a two or three goal lead at halftime.

MLS held on for halftime and came out in the second half looking much better. They kept the ball more and were able to exploit space in behind the high Bayern back line.

One day, he will look back on this and laugh. His children will be embarrassed by him and he will remember the days when he could get drunk in the locker room after the match and not wake up the next morning feeling like the entire world is caving in on him.

But right now, he is just a 21-year-old celebrating beating Bayern Munich with hiked up shorts and some dancing.

First, Robert Lewandowski decided he was going to kick a ball very, very hard from 20 yards and hit the back of the net with it. That put Bayern Munich up 1-0 on the MLS All-Stars.

The moral of the story is to always kick the ball very, very hard from 20 yards. Also, be very good at hard soccer ball kicking. If you are, you can make lots of money and do cool things on national TV!

Major League Soccer’s annual gigantic waste of time All-Star Game is many things. It’s chance to see some of the league’s best players on the field together against foreign competition. It’s a chance for league officials and team executives to meet and mingle, and an opportunity for fans to have fun.

What it’s not, at least on the field, is a game that matters in any way at all.