After a somewhat slow start to the season, in which they were shut out four times in their first nine games, Everton have emerged as the Premier League’s biggest entertainers. Their 35 goals are good for third in the league, behind title contenders Leicester City and Manchester City.
Watching Everton is a blast unless you support Everton
Being the league’s premier entertainers is great for everyone but your fans.
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
They were part of a seven-goal game on Monday, which followed a five-goal game they participated in just over a week ago, a six-goal game at the end of November and a stunning eight-goal game in the first week of November. If you’re a neutral fan and you’re just looking for the most entertaining game to watch during a packed mid-day slate, pick the Everton game. They’re never boring.
But there’s a slight problem with all this entertainment -- it’s coming at the expense of results. Out of those four goal-packed thrillers, Everton only won once. Monday’s seven-goal game was a loss to Stoke City.
Highlights are U.S. only. You can find U.K. highlights at The Times.
The Toffees may be the most fun side to watch right now, but this is the other Everton. The one that hundreds of thousands of people actually have to support. The one that lets them down constantly.
The attacking trio of Romelu Lukaku, Gerard Deulofeu and Ross Barkley is one of the league's most exciting, perhaps only rivaled by Jamie Vardy, Riyad Mahrez and the cast supporting them at Leicester City. Barkley bulldozes his way through midfield, Deulofeu makes the silky passes and Lukaku finishes moves by making very large defenders look like small children.
So Evertonians are left to wonder why their team isn’t very good. Despite having the best attacking talent they’ve ever had, the best young central defender in the country and an excellent goals record, they’re down in 11th. In a year where top four appears to be attainable for anyone with a couple of top talents and a decent coach, Everton are failing to make the most of the opportunity, and sit nine points behind Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur.
Behind their great attackers, Everton's team is a bit less convincing. Gareth Barry is quite good for what he is -- a 34-year-old signed on a free transfer -- but his best days are clearly behind him. Tom Cleverley is no defensive midfielder. James McCarthy hasn't been his fit and in form best in a while. Young defenders Ramiro Funes Mori, Brendan Galloway and Tyias Browning look like they're learning on the job. Tim Howard is still competent, but no longer world class. The same goes for the now 33-year-old and injury prone Phil Jagielka. And all of those factors lead to John Stones just looking like a solid defender, not one that Chelsea was willing to pay a British record fee for.
As fans of soccer, we should thank Everton for existing. It’s brilliant that a team with great attackers bombs forward and has no coherent defensive plan, leaving all of the defending in vast swaths of space to children and soon-to-be retirees. It means that not only do we get to see Everton score tons of goals, but also Stoke City score four, and Bournemouth score three, and Leicester score three. They value entertainment over everything else, and the Premier League would be better if it was filled with Evertons.
Unfortunately for Evertonians, most teams prioritize defending, and 13 of them are better at it than Everton is. They probably don't care much about their team providing a service to soccer fans who don't support Everton. So thanks a lot for what you've done for the neutral, Roberto Martinez, but your fans would like to see their team playing European soccer next year.
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