Backheel Breakfast: It’s Clasico week, and it’s all about Gareth Bale

Gareth Bale, you might have heard, has been a slight disappointment at Real Madrid. He’s scored 16 goals this season and is almost certainly a top 10 attacking player on the planet, but that’s not good enough for a player who collected a world record fee, given two important factors: he’s not as good as Neymar and he appears to piss off Cristiano Ronaldo. Yes, he scored the winning goals in two finals last year, but forget about that. He’s crap.

However, Bale scored two goals this weekend, while Ronaldo is still in a bit of a statistical slump domestically. The lead story on at least one Spanish daily is still about how Bale is doing special training with Madrid’s assistant to “try and correct deficiencies.” Meanwhile, the other big Spanish daily is taking shots at English media for criticizing their coverage of Bale’s season so far.

This has all gotten a bit absurd, but rest assured it’s almost over. It’s Clasico week! That means the Bale narrative will be set in stone for a while and everyone can stop arguing about it. Come Sunday, Bale will be branded as a Madrid hero or failure until the next Clasico!

Gus Poyet is getting fired. (Northern Echo)

Zlatan Ibrahimovic had to apologize because people didn’t understand his broken English. He tried to say French referees are awful and everyone thought he said that France is awful. (PSG.fr)

Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers said he’s not reinstating Steven Gerrard into the lineup on reputation alone. (Guardian)

Don’t expect to see Andrea Pirlo play against Dortmund. (Football Italia translating Gazzetta dello Sport)

Despite his slow start, Lionel Messi has already passed last season’s goal total. If he doesn’t get hurt, he’s probably looking at his second-best individual season ever. (AS)

Pepe Reina, who we forgot was a thing, made his Bundesliga debut this weekend. (Bundesliga.com)

A San Lorenzo supporter fell to his death during a game on Sunday. (ESPN FC)

Mario Balotelli is ill and won’t play for Liverpool on Monday. (Mirror)

Tim Vickery on the emerging stars of Copa Libertadores. (ESPN FC)

Paolo Bandini on Rafa Benitez and Napoli collapsing. (Guardian)

Swiss Rambler on Swansea City’s finances. (Swiss Ramble)

The section in which nothing should be taken seriously.

Arsenal would like to add Henrikh Mkhitaryan. (Fichajes)

Falcao has apparently accepted that Manchester United won’t buy him. His agent (presumably) is trying to drum up interest by presenting other Premier League clubs as options. (Mirror)

Real Madrid might not bid for David De Gea, as 18-year-old Augusto Batalla could be groomed as Iker Casillas’ successor. (Express)

Manchester United obliterated Spurs. (SB Nation)

Real Madrid had no problem coasting past Levante. (SB Nation)

Same goes for Barca at Eibar. (SB Nation)

Chelsea and Southampton drew 1-1 even though they both could have scored four. (SB Nation)

The EPL title race all but ended when Man City lost to Burnley. (Bitter and Blue)

PSG lost 3-2 and Zlatan was pissed. (SB Nation)

Marseille and Lyon couldn’t capitalize, and drew 0-0. (Sky Sports)

Bayern Munich keep wrecking everyone. (Guardian)

Napoli looked terrible in a loss to Hellas Verona. (The Siren’s Song)

Fiorentina vs. AC Milan (2 p.m.) -

Imagine Milan are still a big club. It’s easy if you try.

Reading vs. Bradford City (3:45 p.m.) - A forgotten about FA Cup replay.

Getafe vs. Real Sociedad (3:45 p.m.) - If La Liga is your thing.

Swansea City vs. Liverpool (4 p.m.) - Liverpool, the butt of many jokes earlier in the season, have won four in a row.

Roma vs. Sampdoria (4 p.m.) - Napoli’s collapse is sucking all the drama out of Roma games, isn’t it?