The world's top teams play bad teams very often, and usually crush them. A 6-0 score is fairly commonplace in world football. But it's possible that no one has scored six goals of the quality that Barcelona scored against Getafe on Tuesday in the same game for a very, very long time. For that reason, we bring you all of those goals, ranked.
Barcelona’s 6 goals against Getafe, ranked
Lionel Messi, Neymar, Luis Suarez and Xavi obliterated Getafe before showing a surprising level of compassion and restraint.
Alex Caparros/Getty Images
6. Messi’s penalty
Yeah, it was a sick penalty. A rare paneka from Messi, who usually picks out a corner. But it was a penalty nonetheless. MEH.
5. Suarez’s second
This well-placed finish would be the best goal in a lot of very, very good games. This was not an ordinary game. This was a bloodbath, and the above goal was just another cut.
4. Xavi’s
I made a noise when this happened, because Xavi isn’t supposed to do this. He’s old, broken down, on his way to Qatar to make infinity billion dollars while limping around. He’s been benched in favor of Ivan Rakitic, and he only gets trotted out for things like home games against crap teams like Getafe, when Barca know they’re going to win. What business do you think you have scoring this goal, sir?
3. Neymar’s
What’s the name of the defender Neymar juked out of his shoes?
Oh, that’s right, it doesn’t matter because his family doesn’t even love him anymore.
2. Suarez’s first
Supposedly, Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi playing together is a waste, because you have to shuttle one of them out to the wing. They both belong in the center.
Luis Enrique has a cool solution to this problem -- have them split time on the wing. Swap them all the damn time. That way, they both get plenty of time in their preferred position and the opposing left back has a nightmare of a time figuring out what to do.
Suarez presents a problem because he might make a direct run and shoot or run to the byline like a true winger. Messi presents a problem because he can cut in and shoot on his left, or if you give him enough space, rack up assists like this.
This is an outrageous pass. And, perhaps, an even better finish by Suarez. It’s a masterpiece of a team goal that perfectly illustrates Barca’s strategic advantages and the individual skill of their players.
1. Messi’s second
Barcelona spent the second half passing the ball around, deciding they’d rather take a breather and screw around than bury Getafe. “Stop, they’re already dead!”, you tweeted over and over with the accompanying Simpsons meme. Enrique was screwing around on his phone on the sideline, saw your tweets and decided that you were right. He would stop. Getafe were already dead.
But not before Messi did this, of course. They had to get one more goal to start the second half, just to make sure you understood what was going on here. Getafe did not start the second half with resumed fight and a better plan. They did not decide to have some pride. They did not salvage anything. They came out to start the second half just as weak and vulnerable as they ended the first, and then Barcelona picked their foot up off Getafe's throat. They showed off one last time, and then they showed mercy.
If this goal was scored by anyone who does not play for Barcelona or Real Madrid, we would write thousands of words about these six seconds alone and build a sculpture or 12 depicting it. Remember Wayne Rooney's pretty cool bicycle kick against Manchester City? The one you have to see in advertisements every single week? This goal is better than that one, and we will forget about it as soon as Messi scores another, because he has poisoned our minds to the point where we don't understand what the hell we're watching anymore.
See More:
