Update: Newcastle are not firing John Carver. Yikes!
Newcastle are screwed, and Mike Ashley needs to respond right now
This isn’t an offseason problem. This is a today problem.
Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images
Newcastle United are on the verge of the greatest collapse in Premier League history, and it's happening while their rivals take points off top-half teams. A month ago, relegation looked impossible -- even if Newcastle lost out, it was hard to see 17 teams all getting to 35 points. But with Sunderland's win on Saturday, they're now just two points above the drop zone, and two of the teams below them have a game in hand.
It’s as if the Premier League has become not only sentient, but omnipotent, able to control the teams within it. “OK, I’ll allow these teams to play things out themselves most of the time”, thought the league, “but Newcastle staying up losing 11 in a row? No. I’m not having that.”
Leicester City's 3-0 win over Newcastle was the worst result yet, for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, that Leicester are a direct rival, one now just one point behind Newcastle. Two, that they started so poorly. Leicester scored in the opening minute, doubled their lead before 20 minutes, and deserved about six. Three, that they quit. Between the second goal and halftime, Newcastle actually tried to fight back. Whatever was said to them in the dressing room had the opposite of the intended effect, because they were awful afterwards, and two players got sent off.
There’s no denying the situation that Newcastle are in now. This is a real crisis, and they will get relegated if they don’t turn it around. Owner Mike Ashley thought that he could coast to safety with interim manager John Carver, hire the manager he really wants in the summer and rebuild, but he was dead was wrong. Newcastle will absolutely be relegated unless some kind of action is taken this weekend.
And even if Ashley doesn't really want to take immediate action, Carver's comments after the match haven't given him much of a choice. "I actually thought to myself, that's on purpose," said Carver immediately after the match about the challenge that got Mike Williamson shown a second yellow card early in the second half. "I'm blatantly honest about it, it looked like it was on purpose."
His post-match press conference included other highlights like “I can’t make anyone have desire” and “If we had 11 Jack Colbacks in that dressing room, they’d be heroes”, implying that he’s just about the only one who shows the proper commitment. Those are the words of someone who doesn’t expect to have a job in the morning.
Just before Newcastle walked out for the second half, they were getting a pep talk in the tunnel from Jonas Gutierrez, a player who has publicly criticized the club, said he will never forgive them for how they treated him while he had cancer and has no interest in discussing a new contract with them. That’s the player who was trying to pump up his teammates in the tunnel. If that’s happening, the team might as well not have a manager.
So what to do? The good news for Ashley is that his reported top candidate, Steve McClaren, is now available to take his phone calls. The Derby County boss doesn't have much to do after his team failed to qualify for the Championship promotion playoffs, despite being a regular fixture in them over the years and sitting in the top two on multiple occasions this season.
The question about McClaren is always which version of him you’re going to get. The one that brought Middlesbrough to the UEFA Cup final or the one that lost that final 4-0? The one who won a title at Twente or the one who become a running joke as England boss? The one who took a Derby team of unknowns and kids to the playoffs, or the one who failed to finish top six with a Derby team that has a dozen clear Premier League quality players?
Here’s the thing, though: it doesn’t matter right now. Ashley doesn’t have the luxury of asking all the proper questions that you want answered when you’re picking a long-term boss. All Newcastle need to be concerned with is getting three or four points from their last three games. McClaren is probably the best man that they can get in by Monday for trying to pull that off. Nothing else is important for the time being.
If McClaren is an awful fit, Ashley can buy him out with some of the money that he never would have had if he kept Carver or one of his assistants in an interim position, lost three more games and got relegated.
Or Ashley can get Harry Redknapp to coach his team for three games. Or Alan Shearer. Or Alex Ferguson. Or Jack Colback. Who cares? He just needs to do something. Anything. Because it's rare to see players outright quit to the degree that Newcastle's players have, and Newcastle's a big enough club to be an attractive proposition to someone who's a hell of a lot better than John Carver.
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