A brief introductory note. You know when you have a really good idea, far too late? This could have become a series had we only thought to start it last season. But the poor sod’s about to get sacked -- surely -- so there doesn’t seem much point now. Anyway, welcome to the inaugural and final, first and last installment of:
How Louis van Gaal ended up playing everyone out of position against Tottenham Hotspur
Manchester United’s manager made one of the oddest tactical decisions of the season against Tottenham. But it turns out it was all a simple mistake ...
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What was Louis van Gaal thinking?
On Sunday afternoon, Manchester United lost in risible and deeply amusing fashion to Tottenham Hotspur. Picking a lowlight from their shambles of a performance would ordinarily be quite difficult -- should we go with Matteo Darmian's miserable cameo, or that wonderful moment when Chris Smalling and Daley Blind both went up for the same header and prevented the other from winning it? -- but fortunately for us, the choice was easy. For the final 45 minutes, United played with Ashley Young up front.
That's Ashley Young, former winger. That's Ashley Young, jobbing fullback. That's Ashley Young, whose strengths include crossing, cutting inside from the wing and running around a lot. He was supported in his endeavors by Anthony Martial, who is actually a striker but was playing on the left wing; Jesse Lingard, who isn't a central attacking midfielder but was being asked to play as one; and Juan Mata, who is a central attacking midfielder but spent most of his day desperately trying to keep up with Danny Rose on the United right.
There are, we think, two options as to what’s happened. The first is that there’s been a palace coup deep within the recesses of van Gaal’s brain. That his good sense has finally been overthrown by his demonstrative cleverness, which is how United’s attack ended up as the footballing equivalent of a banana-and-mayonnaise sandwich. But if that were the case, it would be unthinkable that nobody in the club would notice and step in. So we can probably write that one off.
The second option, which we’re forced to accept simply because it’s the only plausible alternative, is a simple thing. Presumably you noticed at the time that none of those attacking players are in their best position. At least, that is, for the matter at hand -- there’d be no major problem with Martial playing to the left of, say, anybody who was actually a striker.
But you’ll have also noticed that all four of them are quite close to their best positions. Indeed, if everybody shuffled around one position clockwise, then everything would click into place. Mata to the center, the better to make play and spend less time tracking back; Lingard to the left, where he could cut inside; Martial up top because he’s actually a striker; and Young on the right to keep an eye on Rose and cross the ball, which is the thing he’s actually good at. Coherence! Sense! Maybe even football!
Here’s what happened. Louis van Gaal, a sensible and thoughtful man, knew that sometimes things don’t go to plan. Tottenham are a decent side, after all, and there was every chance that his first XI might not be up to the task. So, conscientiously, he put his mind to considering a Plan B. Nothing too radical, just a little tweak of personnel and system. And he wrote it down. Like this:
Overcoming his slight annoyance at having forgotten to write “PLAN B” until after he’d started, which left him needing to stick it at the bottom, he tucked it away in his little folder for reference during the game. But at some point between then and halftime -- maybe as he slammed his folder into the table as United’s coach ground to a halt for the millionth time how do people even live in this stupid city why didn’t we just get the Underground what the hell is going on out there -- it got knocked, and jostled, and rotated. So when he opened up his folder at half-time, he saw this:
I know I put the striker at the top, he thought to himself. The striker always goes at the top. Why did I write them sideways? Perhaps--
"Why did you write them sideways," asked Ryan Giggs, peering over his shoulder.
“I am Louis van Gaal,” replied Louis van Gaal. “Maybe it is the rest of the world that is sideways. Ashley! You’re going on up front. Anthony, stay wide. Everybody else, as you were.”
And the rest you know.
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