In a weekend with 30 goals, the biggest star in MLS was a backup goalkeeper

MLS got a bit wild over the weekend, producing 30 goals across 10 games. There were no scoreless games, and the only game that didn’t have multiple goals featured an 88th-minute winner from a budding USMNT star. It was a great weekend to be a fan of the league.

But despite all of those goals, the biggest highlights of the weekend were produced by a backup goalkeeper.

This weekend’s scores

New Zealand international Jake Gleeson has been with the Portland Timbers since they were in USL. He was once considered one of the most promising young players in the league, but it hasn’t quite worked out for him. He’s been a very good USL player and backup since then, but hasn’t proven he deserves to be a starting keeper. That is, until this weekend against Toronto FC.

Those are absurd saves. A couple of them were just excellent, if standard stops, but the other two he has absolutely no business making. And now Portland can be thrilled with the knowledge that they have two starting-quality goalkeepers.

Brad Davis is old and slow and a one-footed shooter and JELLE VAN DAMME WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON’T GIVE HIM HIS LEFT FOOT NO.

If Van Damme plays that literally any way, Sporting KC doesn’t score. But he let Davis have his left foot, so Davis curled in one of the best goals of his career.

Were you worried by Jordan Morris’ slow start? The Seattle Sounders rookie was disappointing in his first few games after earning the league’s biggest ever homegrown player contract, but he’s finally living up to it. He’s scored three goals in his last three games, including the game-winner in a 1-0 match against the Crew.

Three weeks ago, USMNT fans were wondering if Morris was ever worth all the hype. Now, they’re wondering if he should start at Copa América.

This is not a ranking that has anything to do with how good a team is at soccer. It’s simply about how likely you are to be entertained if you choose to watch their game on MLS Live. This week’s big losers are the Houston Dynamo, who I no longer believe in to be fun. On the opposite end, I’m ready to believe in Colorado Rapids, the entertainment product.

1. RSL (unchanged)
2. LA (unchanged)
3. NYCFC (up 2)
4. Orlando (unchanged)
5. Timbers (up 1)
6. Impact (up 3)
7. Dallas (down 4)
8. Rapids (up 6)
9. TFC (up 3)
10. Crew (down 3)
11. Sporks (up 4)
12. Red Bulls (up 6)
13. Sounders (down 5)
14. Union (down 3)
15. Quakes (down 2)
16. Whitecaps (unchanged)
17. Revs (up 3)
18. Dynamo (down 8)
19. D.C. (unchanged)
20. Fire (down 3)

1. Jermaine Jones will get more MVP votes than anyone with fewer than 25 combined goals and assists.
2. Whoever was supposed to give Jelle Van Damme the Brad Davis scouting report and didn’t should get fired.
3. The Crew is fine and will be on top of the East soon.
4. Dallas is fine too.
5. This was not a turning point for NYCFC, who still suck.
6. Put all the teams in a hat. Pick one. If you didn’t get Houston, Chicago or NYCFC, that’s a decent guess for the best team in the league.

Great performance from the disembodied Dax McCarty head. Have a great week fam.