Arsenal won’t fire Arsène Wenger and they won’t win. They are stuck in Limbo.

I jumped out of my sleep. My guide had awakened me by force, but before I could begin to conquer the drowsiness that swirled around my mind, before I had the chance to collect myself, he shook my soul with even greater violence. The spirit revealed to me the news that Arsène Wenger had been offered another two-year contract extension.

In shock, I felt the darkness come over me once again. Not from tiredness, but I was faint from the repeated tortures. Every few years, regardless of the fact of Arsenal’s failure to challenge, let alone win the Premier League or doing anything of note in the Champions League, the manager is rewarded. The same excuses are trotted out: the failures are due to lack of money and quality of the players, squad depth, injuries are bemoaned, climate change, mercury in retrograde, that opponents are playing anti-football, or that the team were just unlucky. My body shook in terror at this news and I felt life begin to leave me.

My guide did not let me falter again though. He urged me out of my despair with harsh words, admonishing my weakness of heart. We were only at the entrance, and the journey would be long and arduous. I was then warned to be strong, for the sights within this hell would test my emotional, mental, and spiritual fortitude.

“Let us descend now into the blind world,” he said, though there was a trace of fear and worry in his ancient face. “Let us go on, for the long way impels us.” Thus he went in and I followed him into the first circle of the abyss.

There I saw a large crowd of men, women, and children who quarreled between themselves. They were divided into two groups, each side hurling insults at the other. “Wenger Out!” one mass shouted, and the other side responded with exclamations that Arsène Knows Best and the odd snide comment that their opponents were of the same frame of mind as Piers Morgan.

These people seemed to be in no visible pain, a sorrow without torment, and the only torture there was of their own making. A response to their detestable fate in this underworld. Some were even shooting videos to upload their distress to the greater world beyond the cavern.

My guide said to me: “Are you not curious as to who these people are? These spirits that you now behold?”

I hesitated, unsure if I was ready for this knowledge, but remembering his earlier encouragement of strength and courage, I relented and asked him to tell me.

As we walked, he spoke: “These are the Arsenal fans. They have done nothing wrong in truth, but in supporting a club that can neither win major titles nor fails hard enough to warrant a reevaluation of their current business and sporting model, they find themselves here. In Limbo. The two groups that you see represent the manifestation of their biggest conflict, the torture that causes them such anguish. One side wants the club to move on from Wenger. Though they believe him to be an instrumental part of the club’s successes and one of the biggest reasons why Arsenal is Arsenal in the first place, they argue that his time has come and gone. He can no longer lead the team to the promised land. His ideas are ancient, his tactics naive, and his teams often fail in the same ways, regardless of personnel. There are plenty of managers who are more than qualified to lead Arsenal into the new era.”

The spirit turned towards me, and seeing that I had not lost my wits, he continued:

“The other, believes that Wenger will eventually succeed again. He had do so before and will do so again. It is because of him that players like Alexis Sánchez and Mesut Özil sign for the team. It is because of him that Arsenal are in the position that they are, to be revered across the lands. They believe that because of what he has done for the club, and the trophies he had won in the past, that he deserves to continue his work. They also point to teams like Manchester United as a caution: Look! Look at what happens when your long-term manager, who is the center of everything, from scouting to coaching, leaves! It takes years, much too long, to rebuild! Look and despair at the era of David Moyes and Louis van Gaal — that could be us as well.”

Great grief seized my heart when I heard this, for I knew some of the people who were stuck in this Limbo.

“Master,” I shouted. “Tell me, is there any way to free these poor souls from this endless grief?”

He replied: “Their team could win the Premier League or Champions League. But, as that has been shown to be impossible, their only other option would be to sack the manager. That too presents the problem which sees these souls here: Though he has not been as successful as he could be, he has been good enough to keep the team in the top four. This means Champions League money. The board cannot be expected to make a decision that could jeopardize their consistent income. There is a fear of failure and acceptance that this existence in Limbo is better than the prospect of having to rebuild. To find a new manager, and create a system that fulfills the numerous duty that this one man has. Stan Kroenke said it best, Arsene Wenger has a job for life.”

As we moved through this circle, I noticed several famous people: Spike Lee, Dido, Mick Jagger, Mo Farah, Prince Harry, the Queen herself, Jay Z, Idris Elba, François Hollande, Niall Ferguson, Jeremy Corbyn, Michael Moore, Andy Murray.

There were much too many to name. And before I could recognize all in full, my guide directed me to the next destination. So we left this place of bickering, where fans argue amongst themselves to alleviate the pain, to create some fantasy of power, that for a moment, dulls the truth of their reality. The fact that Arsenal are going to be this Arsenal forever.