Eden Hazard ruined Manchester City’s Wednesday night. The blue side of Manchester needed a win to feel good about their top-four challenge and the Belgian decided that he was not at all in the mood to help them out with that ambition. In fact, he decided to play like Manchester City was being coached by a certain gray-haired Portuguese man and scored two goals to help Chelsea get closer to the title.
Eden Hazard stole John Stones’ soul, and he can never love again
Stones thought he could step to Hazard. He was very wrong.
Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images
That’s fine and all, helping the team, playing well, all of that boring stuff that needs to be done to please the pundits and internet nerds. What was really fun was that he also ended John Stones with a shoulder dip.
It’s such a wonderful and dramatic clip. It’s an Oscar-worthy motion picture distilled into a few seconds.
There’s the hope of John Stones when he first decides that yes, he’s in fact going to close down Hazard. That’s what his manager wants, and that’s what he will do. It is his duty. There’s the purposefulness in his lunge towards the winger, at that point he has the valiant spirit of a man who will not be deterred from chasing his dream. The night was young, fire raged in the heart of our dear John Stones, and the future seemed pregnant with infinite possibilities. Life is for the bold and Stones had the courage one needs to live it to the fullest. The world was his oyster and he had an aching appetite for seafood.
But no one told our hero that life is also cruel. When he fearlessly dove into his mission, he didn’t know that disaster waited around the corner. Tragedy and disappointment were snickering as he went closer to the bottom-heavy Hazard brother.
Hazard lured this young man into a trap. Like Walder Frey with Robb Stark, Ramsey Bolton with Jon Snow, Kevin McCallister with a duo of thieves, Diego with Manny and Sid, The Liberators with Julius Caesar, The Death Eaters with Harry Potter in The Order of the Phoenix, Arsenal with Arsenal fans, and the Fresh Prince’s biological father that time he came back into his life before abandoning him again, Hazard played John Stones like a fool. He gave him hope, showed him kindness, and then when Stones accepted this invitation of friendship, we reached the climax of our little adventure. Hazard dropped his shoulder so quick that Stones could hear his own knee ligaments plead for mercy.
Look at how Stones puts his head down and tries to recover after being bamboozled. That’s a heartbreak that can only be rivaled by Juliet waking up to find her beloved Romeo dead from poison. Though he couldn’t cry because of the oppressive patriarchy and hyper-masculinity of our Western culture, John Stones felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and knew at that moment of deceit that he would never trust or love again.
How was he supposed to play well after such an embarrassing and public swindling? The noble thing would have been for Pep Guardiola to take the clearly shattered young man off, and to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. Life just comes at you fast sometimes.
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