Juventus expose Manchester United for what they are

It wasn’t a thrashing, and it probably could have been. Cristiano Ronaldo scores goals in Europe, and Manchester United’s defence is a skittish and unsettled collective. But Ronaldo was quiet, and David de Gea did what he does, and in the end Juventus managed just the one goal.

In some ways, though, it was more humiliating than a thrashing. It was an outclassing. For the first hour Juventus dominated possession and kept United chasing around the pitch; for the last thirty minutes they held the home side at arms length. And they did both in smooth, assured, and comfortable fashion. They looked like a team used to winning titles. A team with designs on the Champions League. A team to be taken seriously.

Their hosts? Not so much.

This isn’t the first time that Juventus have come to Old Trafford and left with a 1-0 win. In 1996, an Alessandro del Piero penalty was enough to secure victory, and United were second-best throughout. But that was in the early years of Alex Ferguson’s European adventures, as the club were scrambling up the learning curve. The following season, United beat Juventus at home in the group stage, and the season after that overcame them in the semi-finals, on their way to the treble.

Back then it was a question of learning from the best: Ferguson sat his players down in front of videos of Marcello Lippi’s side, then the gold standard of European football, and made them watch. Made them learn. Made them emulate so that, eventually, they could overcome.

After this latest defeat, Jose Mourinho praised both Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci for their defensive performances, suggesting that they make their masterclasses literal and take them to Harvard. He didn’t add “and I’ll send Chris Smalling along to take notes”, because that would have been unnecessarily cruel, even for Mourinho. But perhaps the real lesson for United wasn’t in the performance of Juventus’ players, but in the whole slick machine.

Juventus and United should, in theory, occupy similar spaces. Both are giant clubs, thick with money and glamour. The difference is that Juventus are very, very good at spending their money, whereas United are absolutely terrible at it. And so Juventus have a squad that makes sense and works together, blindingly expensive imports alongside relatively cheap ones, all coalescing into a functional collective.

In comes Ronaldo, so out goes Gonzalo Higuain, loaned to a theoretical rival because he no longer has a place in the team. And even if this doesn’t win the Old Lady her third European Cup, it’s further evidence that when it comes to the art of being the big horrible rich bastards that everybody hates, Juventus are ticking along very nicely indeed.

By contrast, United have five second-choice central defenders, one proper striker, nobody that can cross a ball, two young, injury-prone full-backs and two old converted ones, and a collection of midfielders that nobody knows how to assemble into a midfield. Oh, and Alexis Sanchez, for some reason.

Sanchez didn’t feature against Juventus thanks to injury, but Juan Mata started. And perhaps between them, these two players are emblematic of how United have (dys)functioned since Alex Ferguson left and Ed Woodward took the wheel. Both arrived in January from rivals, both were greeted with fanfare — a helicopter here, a piano there — and each time, the transfer was viewed as something of a coup.

Yet neither has really found a place in the team. They were transfers made for the sake of making transfers; demonstrative, empty gestures. United, as they hiccup their way through this Glazer malaise, are a performance. An impression of a big club. Spending big money, bigging themselves up for it, bouncing new commercial deals off the back of each one. On and round and again.

And it seems to work, in the sense that the money keeps on rolling in and pouring out. The only problem is that occasionally, a game of football against a proper football club happens, and it all gets a little embarrassing.