Liverpool’s Daniel Sturridge and Alberto Moreno showed off some awful dance moves
This is embarrassing on an existential level.
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Yo, what the hell is this?
The celebration was already questionable to begin with but why is Alberto Moreno doing Star Fox barrel rolls? He’s so happy and giddy that his body just completely malfunctions on international television. Is that even dancing or is it an offensive gesture? It’s like an interpretive dance thing that shows the sufferings of an indigenous people that only Moreno understands.
He's dancing like his mind is sending signals to his body with a dial-up connection. This alone is reason enough to dock Liverpool at least nine points. Daniel Sturridge didn't glue his limbs together for this to happen. He's just scored an equalizing goal that deserved more respect that Moreno mimicking a blind Pterodactyl.
This went from a goal celebration to Moreno imitating the victims in Jaws really quickly. Moreno might actually be left shark. Even Sturridige knows that he shouldn't be moving his body that quickly before it breaks down like a game of Jenga again. This is going to be the new slip for Liverpool's season. Alberto Moreno dancing like he's caused a glitch in the matrix is what's finally going to break Brendan Rodgers.
It’s just really amazing how his upper body, his torso and his legs just have no communication at all between them. It’s worse than watching the U.S.A’s branches of government in action. Like, Sturridge’s moves are smooth, even if the dance itself is an affront to rhythm. Moreno on the other hand is moving like Bambi when his was slipping on ice.
Apparently he's been actually practicing this: This just makes everything worse. That's the finished article. He put time and effort to practice and train to dance like a Windows update. Imagine putting all that effort in and the finished dance turns out to be somewhere between fish out of water and dying Terminator. This is just sad.
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