WWE Hell in a Cell 2016: The full rundown and why you should care

You can be honest with us here, it’s a safe space. RAW has not been very good lately! It certainly hasn’t been SmackDown. That’s okay, though. This is a pay-per-view event, and while the episodes that have led us here have had their ups and downs and downs, Hell in a Cell has plenty of potential. And while we might have tired of WWE telling us all how historic the history they plan on making at this event is, seeing said history should be pretty cool.

Hell in a Cell will kick off on the WWE Network at 7 p.m. ET, with the actual event beginning at 8 p.m. Let’s dive right in.

What am I looking at here? The cruiserweight division is still a cool idea, but WWE hasn’t quite figured out how to present it on RAW in a way that makes fans care. There have been some high points, like the obvious love for Cedric Alexander (and the curiously absent-from-this-match, Rich Swann). Maybe with some time on the pre-show here — it’s the only scheduled kickoff match — audiences will get a chance to see what these wrestlers are capable of.

Why you should care: Alexander is legit, and maybe a potential WWE champ outside the cruiserweight division someday. You should auto-care about anything he’s doing. Drew Gulak is a talented old-school heel who, if they’d let him do more than headlocks and arm bars, would be a guy crowds would love to boo. Care because of the hope that WWE will give us something to care about during this match, like, say, maybe highlight one of these dudes to be the next contender for the Cruiserweight Championship.

What am I looking at here? Bayley is basically Lady Sting, in that she’s tough and beloved and can take care of herself but also ends up being the good guy who gets tricked and placed in difficult situations pretty easily. Also, there are hugs. Dana Brooke is a former fitness competitor who, as you can tell, still lifts weights every now and again and could likely break Bayley in half if only she could get the upper hand against her in the ring.

Why you should care: Dana is Charlotte Flair’s lackey, while Bayley is her own woman here in WWE but is also friends with Sasha Banks, the current Women’s Champion. Those bits of context matter because this Brooke-Bayley matchup is likely the end of their feud: Bayley is likely to win and then either move on into a program with Charlotte — using the former champ as a stepping stone to her own championship aspirations — or hop right into things with Sasha.

If it’s the latter, then Dana and Charlotte might see their relationship come to an uncomfortable end, as Charlotte treats Dana horribly and certainly won’t treat her any better if both wrestlers lose to their opponents on Sunday. We’d get fresh feuds in RAW’s women’s division, which, as great as Sasha and Charlotte and Dana and Bayley all are, is welcome.

What am I looking at here? The big dude with the little dude who is wearing leopard print and/or emojis are Big Cass and Enzo Amore, respectively. The big bald dude with the littler bald dude are Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson. Enzo and Cass are beloved, but don’t win very much. Gallows and Anderson are talked about as the most dangerous tag team in WWE, but also don’t win very much. Someone has to win here, though, so the fortunes of one team will change in a hurry.

Wow, it’s almost like you’ll be watching the World Series even if you choose to watch Hell in a Cell instead!

Why you should care: These two teams are great, but they’ve also both been kind of floating through existence for a bit, so pitting them against each other should be entertaining in the moment while also mattering beyond today — and both teams could use that kind of boost of legitimacy. Whichever team wins here might end up with a shot at the RAW Tag Team Championships in the near future, and since the current tag title feud is between a face team and a not-quite-heel, not-quite-face duo, there are no real hints as to whether it’ll be Enzo and Big Cass or Gallows/Anderson coming out of this one with the W.

What am I looking at here? The New Day have held the tag titles longer than anyone in their history, as they won them at SummerSlam in August of 2015. They’re super popular, they’re super entertaining, and it might also be time for someone new to take over so New Day can evolve their characters and dynamic. Cesaro and Sheamus, as you might recall, were in a best-of-seven blood feud for a championship opportunity, the last bout of which ended in a no decision. The result? They still worked their way to a championship opportunity, except it’s both of them who got it, as they were forced to become a tag team.

Why you should care: Cesaro and Sheamus have mostly spend their time as a team arguing with one another, but last Monday, they worked together just a tiny bit and the result was a convincing win. These two are both awesome wrestlers, and they’re both big, strong, able-to-absorb-tons-of-abuse opponents for the New Day. Having them win as a team that doesn’t quite get along but knows that they can beat anyone when they do would be a welcome change of pace for the tag division, which has been pretty stale if only because New Day at the top for over a year has run its course.

Plus, then New Day can stay together and entertain us all, but maybe throw their support behind a Big E singles run instead of the tag division. I’m going to keep hoping for this until it happens, you can’t take this away from me.

What am I looking at here? T.J. Perkins is the talented wrestler that WWE keeps trying to make you hate with forced puns and lines about video games. Did you know T.J. Perkins likes video games? Here are a bunch of outdated, ill-fitting references to prove it! Brian Kendrick is the long haired one looking to make the most of his supposed last chance at success in a wrestling ring. He’s as dangerous as someone with nothing left to lose can be, and hopefully that shows up in this rematch of a rematch of a rematch.

Why you should care: Story-wise, I don’t have much to give you here. Listen, even my optimism has its limits. This feud, like the cruiserweight division in general, has been a good idea that’s been poorly executed. Maybe this match — presumably the last between these two for the title — will be the best of them and help retroactively justify the lack of progress made by this story and the division as a whole. That’s a lot of pressure, of course, but for all the issues with this particular feud, both of these dudes are here for a reason, and can prove that on Sunday.

What am I looking at here? WWE is giving us three Hell in a Cell style matches at Hell in a Cell. The norm is two, but for the first time ever, there will be a women’s Hell in a Cell match, so it feels like WWE changed their thinking to, “Well, normally there are two men’s Hell in a Cell matches, so let’s do that again.” The least necessary of these is Reigns vs. Rusev for the US title, but that is only mean in terms of being in the Cell. Reigns and Rusev are both wonderful performers who will beat the heck out of each other for our amusement, and we shouldn’t forget that. Reigns also put on one of the better Hell in a Cell matches in recent memory last year against Bray Wyatt, so maybe these two will justify having three of the same style match on the same show after all.

Why you should care: See the above: Roman Reigns and Rusev are great in the ring, both at telling a story within it and also at beating up opponents and taking damage. If you had to pick one of these three matches to make use of the Cell and justify the match taking place within it, you might just choose this pair.

What am I looking at here? Kevin Owens is the handpicked champion of Triple H, but H hasn’t shown up on television since helping Owens win the Universal title on RAW what now seems like forever ago. He’ll be taking on Seth Rollins, who lost the inaugural match for the Universal title back at SummerSlam, but gets another chance here since Triple H turned on him in order to align himself with Owens in the first place. Rollins has become a super babyface — or baebyface, if you happen to have the same adoration for Rollins that I do — while Owens seems to have had much of his agency pulled from him and could use a victory here to remind everyone that, whether the title was handed to him or not, he’s capable of holding onto it.

Why you should care: With the Cell in place, it’s easy to assume that Owens will be given the opportunity for a victory over Rollins that makes him look good, even if it probably won’t come entirely without an assist from someone like Jericho or Triple H interfering on his behalf. Rollins should get even more reason to feel as if the Authority is cheating him out of opportunities — they gave up on him in favor of Owens, and with Triple H vs. Rollins a potential money matchup for WrestleMania next year, this is an opportunity to move us closer to that reality.

This is likely the end of Owens vs. Rollins even if it isn’t the end of Rollins vs. the Authority, and the two should have a glorious sendoff that leads us into the next thing for both wrestlers.

What am I looking at here? Alright, have a seat. We need to have a real conversation about what his all means. Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair will participate in the first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell match. It’s a huge moment for the women’s division and these two women in particular, as they’ve literally been killing themselves for the past few months to put women’s wrestling at the forefront of the mind of every fan. They absolutely deserve this opportunity, and it’s hard to think of two better women in the company for this opportunity.

On the downside, WWE has made this moment all about how historic it is instead of how much these two opponents know and hate each other. We care about Sasha and Charlotte facing off against each other because of those things, and because of how far they’re willing to push and risk their bodies in order to come out on top over the other. For the last few weeks, though, we’ve mostly been treated to the two talking about how important this match is, instead of letting the audience worry about how momentous the occasion is and instead focusing on making sure we understand why it’s this feud between these two women who brought us to this moment in time.

RAW has a real problem with telling instead of showing, and this particular match is no different.

Why you should care: Don’t mistake this for dampened enthusiasm, though: I’m so in on Sasha vs. Charlotte in a Cell, and it better be the main event. At the same time, WWE has mostly left us in a position of wondering how much better the lead-in to the match would have been if they weren’t so concerned about getting sound bytes for the eventual WWE Network special about his historic moment in history, and instead were letting the women show us why it is they deserve to be the ones making said history.

WWE will make an incredible video package that will convince you beyond any doubt that these two women and this feud are perfect for the first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell match. They won’t be wrong, either, as the feud and these women are the perfect fit. Don’t forget, though, that what you see in the video isn’t going to be quite what we saw on television over the last month. Instead of one moment, we could have had many, but all WWE wanted to talk about was their endgame.

So, care, and care hard, but remember that there’s still work to be done with RAW’s story telling in the women’s division, even if they’re getting more right today than they ever have before.