What we learned from Royal Rumble 2017

The Royal Rumble has been a point of contention for WWE fans the past few years, but not this time! In 2017, we got a great Rumble, from start to finish, and a Rumble match that included surprises, comedy, violence, and beef. So. Much. Beef.

Let’s dive right in and find out what we learned from the 2017 Royal Rumble. We’ll go through the kickoff matches a little faster than the main card.

What we learned: While this match didn’t get a ton of time despite a two-hour pre-show, it did its job of helping further solidify the direction SmackDown’s women’s division is heading in for the next brand-specific pay-per-view, Elimination Chamber. Naomi pinning Alexa Bliss in a tag match with a whole bunch of moving parts allows her to claim she’s deserving of a title shot without Bliss having been pinned in a singles match against Naomi, aka the worst possible setup for a championship match.

What we learned: This was a shocker! Not just that Anderson and Gallows won, but that we got a finish at all considering the match stipulation had two refs, seemingly so they could argue over who the winner was. We might still get that on Monday’s episode of RAW, since Sheamus kicked one ref in the face, leading to his team’s defeat, but as of now, they dropped the belts to The Club.

What we learned: If Sasha Banks is going to rise up and defeat Nia Jax, it’s not happening while she’s dealing with a (story line) leg injury. Sasha got some hits in, but Nia shrugged everything off and dominated most of the match. When these two get an extended period of time to show what they can do, it could be special, but we’re not at that part of the story just yet.

The official Royal Rumble card opened with Charlotte defending her RAW Women’s title and her undefeated streak on pay-per-view against Bayley. Charlotte had spent weeks basically calling Bayley a nerd who was no better than the other nerds in the audience, and Bayley has been trying to tell her that actually, being a nerd is good and is also the source of her power. She might need to figure out a way to enhance that power next time out, because Charlotte retained without having to play any dirty Flair tricks.

What we learned: Charlotte vs. Bayley isn’t going to be over, even if Bayley did lose this time. Charlotte is going to have to defend against somebody at WrestleMania 33, because as much as she’s a self-obsessed glory hound looking out for No. 1 at all times, she also won’t want to avoid a chance to shine in the spotlight of the year. Bayley might have to work her way back up to a title match, but with Fastlane in March and a couple of months total in between now and Mania, she has time to prove that she has something to offer, even if she wasn’t born into this life like Charlotte was.

This match, people. This match. RAW has beat the whole Owens/Reigns/Jericho/Rollins thing to death and then into an unrecognizable paste for months now, but this match made all of that torture worth it. Owens and Reigns told a story of two guys who refused to quit, who both looked like badasses capable of taking out as much pain as they could dish out, and then put a Braun Strowman-sized bow on the whole thing to help Owens retain and set Reigns on a different path.

What we learned: Reigns continues to be a godsend in big WWE matches that don’t also involve Triple H, and if you can get him in a situation where weapons are legal, you are guaranteed a more-than-acceptable level of entertainment. The fact WWE let him look like a superhero without it being at the expense of Owens or his title also helps, and Braun Strowman looked like a terrifying, unstoppable force by taking Reigns down.

It’s unclear what Owens is going to do next, but it won’t be with Reigns. This sendoff of their feud is much better than the build deserved, but sometimes, the destination can make up for the journey.

This match wasn’t what it could have been, which is disappointing. What it was, though, was Neville asserting his superiority over the champion of the division that Neville has claimed he’s king of. Swann wasn’t able to stop him, and Neville might be more violent tyrant than benevolent ruler, but you try telling Neville that’s a bad thing and see how your body feels when you wake up from him choking you out.

What we learned: Rich Swann was the class of the cruiserweights until an angry Neville showed up ready to hurt people. If Swann can’t stop Neville, is there anyone in the current cruiserweight division who can? Th reign of the King of the Cruiserweights might end up being a long one, but that’s okay: Neville is dope, even if he’s kind of evil right now.

Last week, I ranked all 15 of John Cena’s previous WWE title victories. There are a few clunkers in there, but most of them are at least good, and a few of them are, without qualification, great. Typically, though, Cena’s greatest matches tend to be ones he’s lost, or from that time period where he made the United States Championship legitimate again by putting on incredible title defenses week after week in his open challenge.

Now, though, Cena finally has a WWE World Championship win that is a legitimate match of the year candidate, and that’s not just because it happened in January: this thing is going to hold up throughout 2017. It’s fitting that this is the one that ties him with the man many consider to be the greatest of all-time, Ric Flair.

What we learned: Learned? Probably not much, really. We knew Cena and Styles were capable of this. We’ve seen lesser — but still awesome — versions of it from them before. This is the top match between two veterans who are still at the peak of their powers despite being much closer to 40 than even their mid-30s, the kind of bout that makes you think these two were meant to wrestle each other forever.

Cena will be the one holding the championship when it’s defended at Elimination Chamber in February. Whether he’s still got it after that six-man affair is over is another story, but he’s now got 16 WWE World titles behind him, and all it will take is one more before he has more than anyone in history.

So much to love here. Sure, there was a lack of surprise entrants and no old wrestlers joining the match besides the ones we already knew about, but that barely matters. This was brilliantly booked from start to finish, with even the downtime in the middle existing there for an express purpose that worked out as effectively as it was written up.

Braun Strowman coming in and wrecking house was a massive highlight, and not just because the dude is huge. Baron Corbin eventually getting in and, with the help of one of Strowman’s rivals, Sami Zayn, eliminated Strowman, making Corbin look awesome in the process. Brock Lesnar came in and destroyed everyone in the ring, but then Goldberg entered and again made short work of Brock. Undertaker then eventually got rid of Goldberg, and was defeated in a similar fashion by Roman Reigns, who had the stare down to end all stare downs afterward in a moment that has me dying to see them face each other at WrestleMania.

Please, please let this happen. It would give the crowd a reason to boo Reigns, and when he’s this version of Reigns who doesn’t give a single thought to what the crowd thinks, the Reigns who has a harder edge around him and starts showing off his darker side without fully succumbing, he’s the best version of himself.

What we learned: Randy Orton ended up dumping Reigns out and winning following an RKO that hit Reigns before he could land a Superman punch. Orton as a Rumble winner in 2017 might seem odd, but with the brand split meaning two huge title matches are on the WrestleMania card along with two women’s championships, Goldberg vs. Lesnar likely a thing, an Undertaker match, and John Cena rumored to have a huge battle at Mania whether he has a championship to defend or not, well, you can have Orton win here without anyone being furious. Especially since they had Orton eliminate Reigns, who the Rumble crowd was dying to see defeated.

And, if the rumors are true about who Orton’s opponent might be, then someone new is still going to be in the WWE World Championship title picture at Mania, anyway. Hey, it’s just a rumor, but if you want to go down that rabbit hole, you know where to click.

Seriously, though, don’t give us Orton vs. Cena again. Leave that back in 2013 where it belongs.