The French age all kinds of things to improve quality: wine, cheese, and even their sex symbols. (Emmanuelle Beart is doing a nude calendar after the age of 40, and it will not suck. We need to look into this strategy.) ↵
French Believe in Aged Wine, Cheese, Urine
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One could rephrase this: the French believe in a beneficial amount of surrendering to the elements. The ancient ruins of Cluny in Paris sit nearly open to the elements; their wine and cheeses sit for days, months, and sometimes years in caves. They're loath to knock down old buildings, forever muttering something about "history." The unofficial theme song of the French soccer team is Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive," and not because it is retro-ironic, but because they still think it is the jam, son. ↵
↵↵Therefore, you should not be surprised that the French keep this same attitude when dealing with the execratory legacies of Tour de France winners past: ↵
↵↵⇥The French anti-doping authority has thrown down a challenge to the seven-time Tour de France champion [Lance Armstrong], proposing he agree to retesting of his 1999 urine samples to see whether a French newspaper was right when it reported they contained traces of EPO, a banned blood-boosting hormone that enhances endurance.↵↵ ↵Nine year-old urine samples: yes, they believe in aging everything to perfection, including pee. The move is less one to actually punish or ban Armstrong, as the samples are only the “B” samples from a two part test, both of which are required for a definitive positive; instead, it is more of a stunt to shame Armstrong in the face of any attempted comeback, since the statute of limitations on any punishment has passed. Shame we’ll all miss out on the luxurious descriptions the French officials would give: “Light, frothy, and with high notes of EPO and nutmeg.”↵
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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