LSU Has the Perfect Plan Against Florida

Throw all the gameplanning out the window. LSU has the perfect formula for beating Florida this Saturday: Break Tim Tebow’s leg. Or his throwing arm. Or perhaps a simple grade three concussion will do. Whatever. So long as it knocks the golden boy out of the game:↵↵⇥“If we get a good shot on [Tebow], we’re going to try our best to take him out of the game,” [LSU defensive tackle Ricky] Jean-Francois said Monday. “With his size and his heart, it’s hard to get a clean shot.”↵⇥↵⇥[Jean-Francois] compared a clean hit from his defensive line like “a car wreck without a safety belt.”↵⇥

↵↵I’d say his mobility -- not that fact that he’s large and possesses the essential organ of life -- is what makes it hard to hit him. But it really matters not at this point, because last night Jean-Francois changed his mind, and decided he doesn’t wanna hurt Tebow:↵↵⇥“We have great respect for Tim as a player and a competitor,” part of the statement said. “By taking him out of the game, I meant as a defense we are going to try to make him ineffective. I’m sorry that my initial comments were interpreted another way.”↵↵Fair enough, Ricky. Although it’s pretty much impossible to interpret your initial statement any other way than completely literally. But your backpedaling abilities are impressive for a big man. ↵↵It should also be noted that Jean-Francois is a cousin of Kimbo Slice. This likely means that Tebow will hit him with a glancing blow -- say, drive Florida down to an early field goal -- which will miraculously be enough to knock out Jean-Francois and LSU. ↵

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