You Should Always Get Rental Car Insurance; Just Ask Plaxico Burress

You joke about it, “Oh, it’s just a rental. Who cares if I scratch it?” Realistically, though, you’re like every other little law-abiding, regulation-craving drone: you see the fine existing scratches on the paint, noting them dutifully on the little pre-rental form, being sure not to drink anything that will stain the upholstery. You even return the thing with a 3/4 full tank, just like they asked you to, even as you’re silently fantasizing about how you should have just driven the thing like you stole it the entire time. You’re such a happy little robot!↵↵Plaxico Burress, though, is living the dream of every secret rental car demolition driver: doing whatever the hell he likes with the car, damage and post-rental bills be damned.↵

↵↵⇥Burress returned a Suburban on June 2 to Epic Car and Truck Rental in Clifton, N.J., with scratches and dents in the bumper. He paid $996.95 for the rental but owed another $1,759 in damages. Burress dropped the car off after hours and never informed anyone of the damages.↵↵Oh, go ahead and rail about how this is yet another out-of-touch athlete with too much money on his hands, and how this has something to do with Burress’ recent string of off-the-field incidents. That’s what you have to say aloud, at least. A small, demonic little part of your soul, though, is tipping your hat to Burress because where you pulled up fearing the cost and hassle, Burress just went ahead and drove over a mailbox with the rental car because ... because it’s just a rental, and who cares if I scratch it? You’re standing there with your deposit back safe and sound, but Plaxico? He’s living the rental car bandito’s fantasy.↵↵(On a side note, someone get Plaxico Burress a personal assistant STAT. According to the rental company, he has no drivers’ insurance policy.)↵

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