By Cleveland native Vince Grzegorek, who you can usually find at FirstCuts.
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Sure, the Browns Are Awful on the Field, But Hey, Check Out This Sweet Equipment Room!
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Embattled Browns GM and Ron Howard doppleganger Phil Savage gathered the media yesterday in what I thought was a meeting to enlist men to help him lift and throw rotund Browns coach and professional walrus impersonator Romeo Crennel under the nearest RTA bus in Berea, OH. Turns out the bus thing was not literal, which may have been decided after looking at the scrawny arms and burgeoning bellies of the Cleveland media, but the figurative heave-ho was very real. Nope, not my fault. Nothing to see here.↵
↵So, Savage set out to defend his record, distance himself from every failing aspect of the organization, and absolve himself of responsibility for anything beyond filling out the 53-man roster. During his Romeoa culpa, he curiously failed to mention giving Donte Stallworth a 7-year, $35 million contract, but did make sure to say that he can walk with his head high because, "The football operations part of this organization is stronger then it's ever been. Training room, video, equipment, scouting staff, we have a system in place." I'm no NFL expert and can only guess as the rubric that owner Randy Lerner will evaluate his organization with after the season, but extolling the virtues of the training room, video, and equipment improvements when you're the GM of a miserably inept franchise probably isn't the strongest argument to keep your job.↵
↵↵But that wasn’t even his strangest defense. After all the questions, Savage decided to end the press conference with a quote. Take it away Opie: ↵
↵↵⇥“I’d leave you with one quote. I ran across this last weekend, it’s from FDR a long time ago. He said, ‘The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with a strong and active faith.’ That’s what I’m doing. That’s what the guys I work with are doing, and the ladies. We’ve got four weeks left in the season and we’ll see what happens after that. But that’s how I’m going to end it.”↵↵What that has to do with football is beyond me. Maybe it has more relevance than I realize. Perhaps when FDR uttered that phrase in April of 1945, he too was worried that Bill Cowher was waiting in the wings, ready to take over front office control from the White House. Whatever the motivation, after Savage gently and verbally nudged Romeo off the curb, everyone can understand why Phil didn’t select another of FDR’s famous quotes: “I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.”↵
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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