Trey Wingo: Worst. Emcee. Ever.

By Chris Mottram
Chris will be blogging from somewhere in Arizona all week where apparently a game is happening. He promises to not once mention anything that might actually occur on the field of play.⇥
Last night we ventured out to Scottsdale (otherwise known as “The Dirty Dale”) for the Madden Bowl party. I was somewhere between stoked and amped about it. Marshawn Lynch and Chad Johnson were gonna be in the same building (and lest we forget about the ever-exciting Jason Witten), plus there were to be free drinks and food. But based on the fact that it was at a place called The Martini Ranch, I should’ve known what I was in for.
It was basically a bunch of media members (who didn’t wanna be there) and a bunch of regular folk (who inexplicably choose to be there) watching athletes play a video game on stage, while Trey Wingo and D.J. No Talent annoyed the crowd to tears.
Wingo was so non-stop obnoxious that I actually found myself wishing he would shut-up and No Talent would turn the Lil’ Weezy back up. Particularly annoying was Wingo’s constant “impersonation” of Belichick. Here’s audio of him doing it on three seperate occasions (although he probably did it no less than eight times):

It’s funny because he mumbles, get it?
The most interesting thing that happened the entire time was a tie between watching Maroney get a girl’s number in the VIP room (pictured below) and me asking McGahee how much his watch cost (also pictured, along with McGahee’s jeans, which I did not inquire about), only to be denied an answer and instead offered a breath mint. Why, oh why, must you be so delicious mini beef wellingtons, yet at the same time so bad for my breath?
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We ended up leaving the Madden Bowl about 30 minutes past my annoyance threshold and going to Will’s Deadspin party, which was light years more fun. There were probably 50 people there. Although about 45 of them were in attendance on their own accord and probably didn’t know what a blogger is.
The highlight of the night occurred at this party, however. While standing around the outdoor fire pit (believe it or not, it’s quite cold in The Dirty Dale at night), a local woman -- probably in her 50’s, and definitely drunk -- informed us of the Dale’s slogan: “Come on vacation, leave on probation.”
So, I have that to look forward to.↵