Shanoff’s Wake-Up Call: All Ears on Clemens

By Dan Shanoff
Today’s Calls: Roger Clemens vs. Brian McNamee (finally!), Arlen Specter vs. Roger Goodell, Uno vs. Snoopy, Kentucky vs. Vandy, Purdue vs. the rest of the Big Ten, Chris Paul vs. Rajon Rondo, Tony Stewart vs. Kurt Busch and More!
The Opening Pitch: What Roger Clemens says today doesn’t matter: He could deny. Obfuscate. Plead the 5th. Lie. Insist he’s telling the truth. But it won’t matter.
Because now it’s 2 against 1: Details of Andy Pettitte’s affidavit leaked yesterday, and he said Clemens talked with him about using HGH.
McNamee linking Clemens to steroids is one thing; Clemens’ best buddy doing it is another entirely. No wonder Congress didn’t demand Pettitte testify openly with them today. He already gave them the goods.
(Pettitte said Clemens later told him that he must have misunderstood: Clemens was talking about his wife’s HGH use, not his own. At worst, that lends cred to McNamee’s story that Clemens’ wife used HGH before that SI shoot, which isn’t exactly helpful.)
Clemens’ (and McNamee’s) testimony will make for riveting TV, from the classic “swear-to-tell-the-truth” pose, onward. But only for the theater of the images. Clemens -- and fans -- have a long day ahead.
(The biggest embarrassment? That some members of the Congressional committee that will be talking to Clemens asked for his autograph during their private discussions with him last week.)
Maybe it’s 2-vs-2, not 2-vs-1: Jose Canseco swore in an affidavit that he has never seen Clemens “use, possess or ask for steroids or [HGH].” I’m honestly torn by everything Canseco says: On the one hand, he’s a blowhard moron; on the other, he’s been as close to a truth-teller as anyone during this entire steroid scandal.
Meanwhile, Goodell vs. Specter: Roger Goodell is going to talk about how the NFL handled the Patriots cheating scandal with Arlen Specter. Presumably, they will also talk about Specter’s inability to get Sunday Ticket through his cable operator. Now, if Specter could make THAT happen, he truly would be doing the People’s Work.
Uno wins Westminster: God loves a terrier, er beagle, apparently. As the first beagle to ever win Westminster, Uno becomes the second most famous beagle in history, behind Snoopy. Maybe Roger Clemens should have Uno sit next to him at his testimony today.
Kentucky: Yikes. If Kentucky fans thought this season couldn’t get worse than the loss to Gardner-Webb, they were wrong: The Wildcats suffered their most lopsided SEC loss in school history, a 41-point loss at Vanderbilt. No, it is not inappropriate for UK fans to argue that Billy Gillispie should be fired after one year.
The best team in the Big Ten is not Michigan State or Wisconsin or Indiana ... it is Purdue, which continued its surprising run this season by knocking off the Spartans last night in West Lafayette.
Speaking of Indiana, the school will release details today of just how big of a cheater that Kelvin Sampson is/was -- he cheated while on probation for cheating!
(Meanwhile, how many more close calls can UNC take before you begin to realize they can’t win six straight in the NCAA Tournament?)
“Last 10, no 12” becomes key: The Selection Committee will now weight a team’s performance in its final 12 games, rather than the “Last 10” it had used historically. Hey, Ken Pomeroy and John Gasaway: Do those extra 2 games’ worth of data really offer decisive help? (h/t: USA Today)
Courtney Paris Double-Double Watch: 88 The Oklahoma star now has the most double-doubles in NCAA history (men’s or women’s), breaking a tie with Tim Duncan.
Tennessee-Rutgers clock scandal: Apparently, it was “human error.” Gee, YA THINK?!?! (Wonder if the person employed by Tennessee to run the clock is a, um, volunteer?)
NBA Need-to-Know: Getting ready for All-Star Weekend in New Orleans, All-Stars Chris Paul and David West combined for 52 of the Hornets’ 100 in a win over the Bulls in Chicago... In KG’s absence, another big stat line for Rajon Rondo: 12p, 7a, 7r, 2b, 2s. Maybe it’s a “Big Four”... Marion Watch: 23 and 18, but not enough; after 50 games, the Heat are still in single-digit wins, losing to the Nuggets in OT... Trade Rumors: Who wants Marbury?
Anyone? Anyone?... Must-Read: Nathaniel Friedman on the All-Star Game.
Shaq probably won’t make his Suns debut tonight against the
Warriors: Presumably, he realizes the game’s over-under could be 240, and that he’s hardly in the right shape to contribute. (Come on: How about just a half-court set or two?)
NASCAR: Slap on the wrench. For their ridiculous brawling, Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch are given... a 6-race probation. When it comes to punishing its athletes, there isn’t a more toothless sports league than NASCAR.
Reggie Bush deposition update: Lloyd Lake cut the depo short, after an unnamed Bush security guard flashed a gun at him. If Bush has nothing to hide, why would he need to intimidate the key witness against him? (Oh, right: He DOES have something to hide.)
NFL: Is Chad Johnson going to end up with the Redskins? Oh, that will be just IDEAL for a rookie head coach with little experience.
Kenechi Udeze has leukemia: Obviously, thoughts with him and his family, friends and fans for a complete recovery.
42-year-old Giants punter Jeff Feagles gets a 2-year extension, coming off becoming the oldest player to ever participate in the Super Bowl. Hey, if he can get it done, why not? He’s the Julio Franco of the NFL.
Moves: Is Marty Booker headed back to the Bears after being released from the Dolphins?
Livan Hernandez to the Twins: He’s no Johan Santana, but Hernandez is an innings-eating monster who can anchor a very young rotation. (So who is going to bet a high-round fantasy pick on Francisco Liriano?)
CFB Recruiting: Pryor Watch. Notice how we haven’t really heard anything from Terrelle Pryor in the week since Signing Day? That probably means that he’s close to ending the drama and announcing.
The Last Word: Zednick on YouTube. Just out of curiosity, I went to YouTube yesterday to check the “Most Viewed” clips. I could have sworn that of the Top 10 clips, the Zednik injury comprised more than half of them. Given how disturbing the footage is, the level of morbid curiosity is disturbing in its own right.
Dan Shanoff writes The Wake-Up Call every weekday morning for SportingNews.com and blogs daily at DanShanoff.com. Got any comments, questions or feedback? Email Dan at shanofftsn-[at]-gmail-[dot]-com.
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