Fun at Vitale’s Expense: Still Extremely Funny

By Mike DeCourcy
DeCourcy is a columnist for Sporting News who occasionally graces us with his presence in this space.
When Dick Vitale was ordered to keep his mouth shut in order to recover from surgery on his vocal chords, there really were only three options to deal with the silence:
1. Keep old Dickie V. game tapes cued up so the sound of his voice would always just be a click of the “play†button away.
2. Mourn.
3. Read through “Dukie V’s Season To Remember,†published by Outskirts Press, a book that asks the question of how hard you can flog a single joke. (Answer: 141 pages worth.)
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Author Brian Allen collected a bunch of his parody columns that deal with the perception that Vitale has an affinity for all things Duke. Individually, the pieces bounce between extremely funny and hilarious. Collectively, though, one on top of the other, they are – yep, extremely funny to hilarious.
But the most remarkable thing about the book is that it actually is written in Vitale’s voice. Try not to hear Vitale speaking when you read this paragraph written by Allen:
“We also saw another complete game performance by Mr. Greg Paulus, who is fast developing into one of the nation’s premier point guards. Just look at his incredible numbers: six points and two assists, with only one turnover! Can you believe it? To rack up stats like that against Colonial League competition just says so much about this kid’s all-around game.”
It was Allen’s misfortune to come out with a book gently mocking Vitale just as he was going through a very public health crisis. But now that Dickie V. is back at the microphone – two Duke games in eight days, baby! – perhaps it’s safe to laugh again.↵