Andy Pettitte Answers Any and All Questions*

By Chris Mottram
*By “any and all” we really mean just the ones that have nothing to do with his sworn deposition to Congress.
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Andy Pettitte’s press conference has been dragging on for about an hour now, so I think it’s safe to say we’ve learned what we’re gonna learn from this. Which is to say we’ve really learned nothing.
He wasn’t “allowed” to answer any specific questions about what he told Congress, so we were left with lots of “do you consider yourself a cheater?” or “are you and Roger still BFFs?” type of questions.
So you know, Pettitte doesn’t consider himself a cheater. He claims he didn’t take HGH for a competitive advantage; He took it to be able to heal faster. How that’s not a competitive advantage, I’m not sure. Then again, HGH wasn’t banned when he took it, so it doesn’t matter either way.
As for him and Roger, their hetero-love has been damaged by all this. They didn’t even get to play golf together this offseason! Love hurts.
Also, in case you were concerned, Andy knows that Jesus has forgiven him for all this, because, you know, J.C. doesn’t have bigger concerns.
> Pettitte Apologizes to Yankees, Astros, Fans | Sporting News↵