Karaoke Spin Provides Exercise, Shame

By Spencer Hall
Oh, sure, Wii Fit’s coming out, but does it involve singing? While getting your heart rate up to anaerobic, potentially unhealthy levels? And wearing a funny hat with lights all over it and with a pair of fake wings on your back? No, it doesn’t, and that’s just one of the reasons why the sport I’m going to tell you about takes Wii Fit and beats it senseless in a back alley with a brick.
America, top score to you. As a nation, we’ve done it again with the advent of karaoke spin class. It’s like a normal spin class: stationery bikes, pain, an annoying instructor screaming daggers at you the whole time ... but instead of leaving you with a shred of dignity, karaoke spin class combines high-intensity aerobic activity with the singing of moldy classics you only hear at bad weddings.

Sure, I’ll sing a song on a bike while exercising. I was tired of having shame anyway, and the chance to vomit on a live mike in front of a room of strangers simply can’t be resisted. Sign me up. If this doesn’t appear on the list over at stuffwhitepeoplelike.com ASAP, those people need to be run out of business for inaccuracy.
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