Ex-Footballer Enjoys Profane Parrots, Drinking

By Spencer Hall
English footballer Paul Gascoigne has always had a reputation for being a bit “crazy,” as illustrated by the time he earned a yellow card for flashing a dropped yellow card at a referee in mid-match:

Now, I’m sure you have plans for retirement. You’ll probably have a nice piece of land somewhere, or maybe a beachside condo in Boca Vista. You’ll play shuffleboard, do tai chi, or hang out at the dog track all day like a lot of the old guys I know do.
Or you can hang around in a hotel eating raw liver and drinking naked like legend Paul Gascoigne does. It’s your choice, really.
[quote="The Mirror"]It follows claims he was almost permanently drunk, set off a fire alarm, spent hours gambling with staff and wandered around clutching plastic battery-operated parrots.
The hotel worker, who refused to named, said: “He has three battery-operated plastic parrots that say mad things when you press them like, ‘Give us a kiss’ and ‘F*** off’.”
There were also reports he would order raw liver from room service - and answer his door stark naked.[/quote]
Some of you are thinking right now: ah, reminds me of dear old Dad. But if you do plan to follow the Gascoigne retirement regimen, you’ll have to make some room in there for involuntary “vacation” days, too: Gascoigne, a titan of 1980s British footbal, was committed under the Mental Health Act, and is receiving treatment for whatever possesses you to stay drunk all day long and play with profane parrot toys.
> Gascoigne Detained After Bizarre Acts | The Mirror↵