Nothing Says ‘Sexy Men’s Underwear’ Like Eli

By Chris Mottram
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Rule No. 1 for how not to get your man-panties clothing line off the ground: Don’t hire a Manning to be the face (and body) of your product. But that is exactly what some underwear company called 2(x)ist is trying to do.
[quote="The N.Y. Daily News"]Calvin Klein may be trying to get into Tom Brady’s pants (the company, not the designer, to make him the brand’s new underwear model!), but word on the street is sexy men’s underwear line 2(x)ist is trying to get his rival, Giants quarterback Eli Manning, to model their teeny-weeny, bikini-style briefs.[/quote]
No offense to Eli, but I think he’s best suited modeling watches and Oreo’s, not wearing “teeny-weeny, bikini-style briefs,” which, by the way, is possibly the worst mental image ever. And no offense to this extremely football-savvy gossip columnist, but calling Tom Brady and Eli rivals is like calling the Red Sox and Royals’ Single-A club rivals. They’re in totally different metaphorical (and literal) leagues.
Also, what the hell is this weird world of men’s fashionable underwear? Really, there’s a market for “sexy men’s underwear”? As far as I know, that’s actually an oxymoron. Male underwear is to be as comfortable and functional as possible (not to mention optional), with no regard whatsoever for sexiness.
Sorry about all this talk of half-naked men. Go check out the ice girls, or something, and try to erase the thoughts of Eli in his unmentionables from your frontal lobe. ↵