Nature Boy and The Big Show on ‘RAW’

By Dave “Large” Larzelere
For any of you out there who missed it, there were two big developments in the pro wrestling ring last night that had major consequences for the future of the universe.
First of all, and thank heavens for this, Nature Boy Ric Flair’s career is safe and sound. For months now he’s been operating under the gauntlet due to an order from the WWE chairman himself, Vince McMahon, stating that the next time the geriatric Nature Boy lost a match, he would be summarily retired from wrestling forever.
Last night, McMahon tried to retire Flair himself in a good old-fashion street-fight on Monday Night RAW. He got very close to the goal as well, pulling out all manner of objects (chair, pole, TV monitor, folding table) to smack Flair on the head with, opening a mighty fake cut in the Nature Boy’s forehead that gushed a veritable river of fake blood.
But ole Nature Boy resorted to the oldest tricks in the book to fell the Chairman in the end, two big shots right to McMahon’s cojones and then a body slam onto the conveniently placed table:

After the match, Flair was so spent from the effort and caked in the claret that he had to crawl back to the locker room in front of the roaring crowd. God bless that man.
But the second development on the evening was even more consequential for sports fans, as The Big Show, the seven-foot Goliath slated to tangle with Floyd Mayweather at this year’s Wrestlemania, called out Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, referring to Jericho as the “Floyd Mayweather of wrestling†(which one might think would be taken as something of a compliment, but whatever). In the seesaw battle of wills that ensued, Big Show ultimately was triumphant, all because of a disqualification after Jericho smacked him on the head with his Intercontinental belt (one of the few things you aren’t allowed to smack people on the head with in pro wrestling).
What this means, of course, is that not only will the WWE’s Heavyweight title be on the line in Money May’s Wrestlemania bout with Big Show, but the Intercontinental title as well. The mind boggles.
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