Wisky > Beasley; The Paint Crew Falls Asleep

By Will Brinson
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Oddly enough, the more exciting (read: ohmigahd that last minute and a half took forever) afternoon game came in the form of Purdue-Xavier and while it did involve an insane steal-->Drew Lavender getting clotheslined with five seconds remaining, it didn’t involve your new number one NBA draft pick, Michael Beasley, even though he went off for 23 points and 13 rebounds against Wisconsin. Purdue, who has a group of fans seen here known as the “Paint Crew” (after head coach Matt Painter, photo courtesy of The Bog), held an early lead over Xavier before the getting stormed back on. Then they did some storming back of their own, taking the lead with just over four minutes to go. Then they were restormed. Or something like that.
Xavier held on for the win and finished with four players in double figures, including Josh Duncan - who may or may not have been inexplicably compared to “Tim Duncan” at one point by the announcing team, and ended up nearly choking away this game in a manner reminiscent of the OSU loss from last year. Of course, if you care for your insidious comparisons to NBA players to be a touch more realistic...
Beasley’s, a.k.a. Elton Brand (what, how can it be worse?), big game wasn’t enough as the Badg knocked Kansas State out of the tournament. Surely there’s something ironic about Bob Huggins West Virginia team winning the previous game. But surely I’m not going to delve any deeper than that into it. Although I am willing to bet that the following phone conversation involved him laughing about Kansas State’s exit while his Mountaineers advance. They beat Duke, in case you didn’t hear.
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In more amazing news, Kansas State, in what eventually turned into a blowout, could not manage to hit a single three pointer. Zero for 13 beyond the arc, in fact, which will generally contribute to you getting run out of March Madness post-haste. No word on whether Pat Riley was there or not, but he’s probably licking his chops at the chance to add Beasley to a team that ... um ... has ... um ... Dwyane Wade? Tons of cap space, though!↵