FirstCuts: Miami Takes Forrest Gump No. 1 Overall

By Chris Mottram
Sports don’t start and end with a referee’s whistle. FirstCuts, a blog dedicated to sports culture, will cover everything outside the lines, from games to gear.
This is the sort of post that reinforces why bloggers are the most magnificently creative people on the internets (myself excluded): Tirico Suave’s 2008 NFL Movie Character Mock Draft.
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They’ve taken amateur football players from popular sports films and mocked up a draft based on this year’s actual NFL draft order. And yes, they took what teams need into account. This isn’t all about skill, which explains how Steve Lattimer (The Program) could drop to the Patriots at No. 9.
I was also surprised that Jonathan “Mox” Moxon (Varsity Blues) was the fourth QB off the board. You just can’t beat the kind of leadership, effort and soundtrack he brings to the huddle. Although his penchant for strip clubs could be a problem, despite the fact that he clearly isn’t one to give into the Devil’s temptations.
Mox was behind the likes of Rico Dynamite (“he was rumored to have thrown a football over a mountain range” at Pro Day, however) and the only non-racist white person in Remember the Titans (“Sunshine”).
The most shocking -- yet in hindsight, obvious -- pick goes to the Titans, who went with a canine at No. 24, selecting Air Bud. And I’m not sure how Al Bundy finagled his way into the draft. Not so much because he doesn’t have the skills -- I’m sure he’s a very talented halfback -- but moreso because Married With Children was a television program, not a movie. I guess you can look past these details when a guy has so much upside.
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